Chapter Three

last post before i go.

2009-01-19T12:19:00.004+08:00

Roughly four hours until we leave for the airport. I'm just here to say that I'm either a) privatizing, or b) hiding the blog for the two weeks I'm gone. There will be nothing to see nor read, because I'm sure there's no way to access to a computer -- and I have no intentions of doing so.

Results are coming out roughly sometime in the next two weeks, so good luck everyone! (My mom has given me reason to believe that the higher-ups at MD are already in meetings. I don't know if it's true, but it dampened my spirit this morning slightly. Slightly.)

Yesterday was fun :) The later half anyway. There's just something liberating about not being scared to act like a complete dickhead -- excuse my language -- even if it is annoying. But hey! On the bright side, you guys don't have to put up with my outbursts for the next two weeks, so everyone wins right? Maybe I'll come back changed, calmer than I have been since the last time I've went. Or maybe not. Who knows, right?

I finished reading Lock and Key around four in the morning which probably explains why I'm so tired. I'll have a proper go at it when I come back. But Sarah Dessen does not fail to deliver. As far as chick lit goes -- which, really, I do not consider Dessen's books to be -- she's the only one I read. And Cecilia Ahern. But that's neither here nor there. I still haven't finished Theft: A Love Story and I've had that since the new year. I have The Prophet to look forward to when I get back, and potentially Freedom Writers. Or maybe I can go ahead and read it now. It's not exactly long, but it's beautiful and poetic. I got through half of the book yesterday when my place was removed.

The Guardian starts soon. Yay. I get to know Lulu's fate.

I'll have my phone on me. Feel free to send texts my way! :))) Hahahaha.

This goes at around half past three. I'll be back on the 3rd, technically.

Your reading junkie beseeches you...

2009-01-13T14:36:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Sufjan Stevens

For the most part, I protest to the colour scheme, but I do have to admit that the shade of pink and that shade of green go together. Lack of pictures make for a very boring blog, but really, I don't care. If you want pictures, go back. Go way back.

Reasons why my friends rock:

Dzar texted with updates all the way from Singapore that she has two of my books :D

I'm sorry for being a lurker, but:I don't know what she means by outlandish, but oh, you know, to each their own.

All the others rock as well, but I don't have my reasons right now.

Anyway, I have about six days until the day. I'll be gone for about two weeks, and you know what I would really, really, really love? E-mails.

Yes, e-mails. I'd love an e-mail for every day I'm away so that when I come home I'll have a reason to smile when I open my inbox. Admittedly, things will be busy and hectic when I come back -- the results should already be out by then -- so when I'll be able to read them is a question but knowing that I'm coming home to something gives me a nice feeling. I probably won't want to leave when it's time to come home, but you know.

What I want? Updates. Any kind of updates. Especially updates on the results. The results predictions, the scares, the actual day when you go on your merry way to get the slip from school, because I can't bring my phone all because of the built-in camera issue. And updates on, you know, when you go on your merry way to school. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you suck.) Or you know, just anything. A joke, a story, a book recommendation, a song recommendation, a movie recommendation, an article, the war updates... Absolutely anything.

You guys know this. I'm an absolute reading junkie.

I'll update before the day to announce a 15-day hiatus.

vitally. i'm yours for the taking.

2009-01-10T19:32:00.003+08:00

I've actually found Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher online! So now that I have, I'm going to edit it to a format of my liking and read it because I've been wanting it for months. And it struck me, in the middle of watching The Mentalist, that I'm going to miss two weeks worth of The Guardian episodes.

Today is:

Of getting up way too early than is normal for me -- at least lately.
Of detours and roti kosong and samosa.
Of bowling and laughing and ice-cream and old school 70s music.
Of cute waiters and seaweed and sushi and people talking over the other to be heard -- just like family.
Of searching for wax strips and failing -- I swear, on my life, it's not for me!
Of bowling again and spilled drinks and laughing and catching up and fooling around.
Of joyrides and huge empty spaces and buildings with colours and sizes worthy of an institution.
Of more laughing and fun times and togetherness.

Today? Well, today was nice. Fun. Awesome. High on the epic scale. Being a little silly can do wonders. Thank you.

sad, sad life.

2009-01-07T21:57:00.003+08:00

I have this cute little diary/notebook that I absolutely love. It's not red like I would have wanted it to be, but it's pretty handy. It's small with just enough space, and when I don't feel like blogging, I just write in there, noting down something I read, a quote that caught my eye, books and music lists, with a song per day. This is going to sound tacky but that's kind of going to be like my 2009 soundtrack.

I watched Help Me Speak again last night on the home and health channel, and I still feel the same way as I did the first time I watched it. I'm shy, but not to an extent that it cripples my speech and prevents me from having any friends. (Oh, fyi, I miss you people.)

Other than that, I've been reading all day. Seriously. I read books, I read blogs (not really), I read summaries of books, I read those little promos you have on packages, I read (good) fanfiction and fiction on the Internet. Why do you think I'm on it so long? Aside from bathroom breaks and eating breaks, that's all I do. And read and reply e-mails.

omg I just admitted how sad my life is to the world.

Hah, well, I'm not the only one :)

e-mail my heart.

2009-01-06T17:45:00.003+08:00

Someone messed with my music player, so in conclusion, it took me more than a month to finish about 2500 worth of songs. Some bad, some good. Some I'm deleting because they're not all that good. Some I've given a 5-star rating because I want to remember the good ones.

I feel like sending e-mails out to people. So watch out for one! If you get one, do reply back. Something long, lengthy. I want to get something other than Facebook updates and other random stuff I don't particularly care for in my inbox. And I want something to read. That isn't to say that there aren't stuff that I don't look forward to. Some I do, some I don't. What I do look forward to, well, it's only my business to know.

And, well, I still don't want to come onto msn.

skins.

2009-01-04T16:21:00.002+08:00

My mistake.

Here's one. Here's two. And because I'm a natural flake -- less than half of the time anyway -- I found a third whose reproduction of the heart-hand is much prettier than mine.

And while I'm in the process of linking, go here: http://omgzxoxo.blogspot.com for fun times. If you have a sense of humour, that is.

first ramble/rant of the year.

2009-01-02T19:33:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire

I want to change my layout. This thing has been with me for months and months because I haven't felt the urge for something new. But it's 2009, so I say, "Hey! Time for a new layout." Problem: I'm lazy. Which doesn't work because apparently I'm giving up laziness as my new year's resolution that no one ever really keeps anyway.

But, I've narrowed it down to two. Again, problem. One has pink that makes my skin tingle - although that particular shade reminds me of LA and original bubblegum and Azul and Irene and Sea World. (Why Sea World in particular, I have no idea, but it IS true of the other four.) The other isn't as simple as the first, but it makes my skin tingle for some unknown reason. The picture's really nice though. It's something I imagine I'd love to do one day with my best friends.

So, option one is here and option numero dos is over here. I don't even need a whole load of people to tell me which one is nicer. Just one or two people is enough. If you don't care either way, fine, I'll keep this little old blue thing.

Actually, just a comment or two from time to time is nice. Just to know I'm not keeping this incredibly public thing in vain. I have plans of shutting it down, actually. Just keep the twitter and my LJ for the occasional post. Idk. I haven't decided.

As to my disappearing act on MSN, well, that's both an intentional and unconscious thing on my part. So don't really expect me online in any of the days to come. I'm even thinking of just scrapping MSN, and get more in touch with this little gadget called my phone or something. Faster, easier access. That is, if the person on the other line has credit. Besides, every time I go online, I get called away to dinner, and then I have my nightly visits at my grandmother's/aunt's.

What's in store for the first month of the year? More vegetable-like tendencies, the A-Level results coming out (panicpanicpanicgaspgaspgasp!), going away for a couple of weeks (maybe?), going back to my books and what little DVDs I have, and The Mentalist which I need to get from Dzar soon (I need my fill of Simon Baker, thank you very much), and maybe a change in my lack of exercise existence. I don't want to get heartburn. And actually, just seeing and being with my best friends because I've been without them for the last two weeks and more. My heart's breaking, you guys.

I'm looking forward to... So many movies. (The Soloist!!! X-Men Origins: Wolverine!!!!1! Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen!!!! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!!!! New Moon!!! and a whole lot more. I've been waiting for Wolverine for aaaaaaages, since they announced it 2-3 years ago. And New Moon, if the screenwriter is good and the special effects are good, I'm hopeful -- and hoping they won't eff it up too much because I think angst is epic.) So much new music. (I still need to finish my current collection -- I haven't downloaded anything in ages and I'm getting antsy. Just a few hundred more to go until I finish that 'How many days will it take for me to finish my music collection' project. Ridiculous, but it's a nice way of listening to everything without wanting to skip because I can't.) More books! (Old, new, and otherwise.) Potential freedom. (We'll see how the results pan out.)

Okay, this is mostly a ramble post because I have nothing better to do.

Another resolution? Less swearing. So far, so good.

2009

2009-01-01T00:18:00.002+08:00

It's been 2009 for about nineteen minutes, which I've only just realized. Happy new year.

2009? I'm not asking much of you; just get me through the year in one piece.

avacadolove

2008-12-19T19:59:00.002+08:00

I don't think another show can make me cry as much as The Guardian does. Kudos to the creative team and Simon Baker and the rest of the cast (y) If anyone knows another show with as much integrity as TG, then by all means, hit me with it. Judging Amy was good as well. Very good.

And, if it's not any trouble, could you maybe tell me if Twitter is giving any of you problems? It's really only just there because I don't want to keep making one-liner posts.

18th; happy birthday darling brother ♥

I need to get you out of my system.

2008-12-16T11:07:00.000+08:00

Another night, another dream.

Sigh.

IT'S OKAY, PET CACTUS

2008-12-14T22:43:00.003+08:00

Nope. Definitely have to wait for two more weeks. And trufax, I can't take Twilight the movie seriously anymore. Not when I have some stupid girl behind me clapping her hands every time Edward freaking Cullen comes on screen. Oh well. I'll continue to gush over it in the closet, counting down the days until the DVD comes out and lament at the loss of its supposed-to-be indie-ness.

Lol. But how many of you actually got the sexual undertones of the movie? Probably another reason why I can't take it seriously anymore. And GD, the effing cactus. Cactus. Soundtrack and movie score is still pure win. (y)

I'm still excited for New Moon though. I think I like it better now.

I'm definitely waiting on Skins Series 3, although I still need to finish Series 2. Chris DDDD:

it's okay, pet cactus. we'll be fine.

2008-12-12T22:16:00.005+08:00

When I watch Twilight again this Sunday, there better not be any screaming, giggling, clapping or squealing girls, or I am going to flip my shit.

The group of girls behind us yesterday? One word: stupid. It's like they went just for the character, and not for the story itself. And all that moaning about wanting Paramore to come on in the credits was stupid as well. Hah. Bet they didn't even realize Paramore's other song on the soundtrack - I Caught Myself - came on during the prom dress shopping scene. Couldn't even sit still and listen to Radiohead or even fucking Iron and Wine.

And hah. Bet they didn't even know when Robert Pattinson's songs came on. I went all googly-eyed and teary and shit when the familiar notes started playing.

And yo, Zatty, remember that Twilight-in-Fifteen-Minutes thing on LJ? :p I finally get the bit about the cactus. HAHA. You will crack up at it as well.

But overall? I want a fucking sweatshirt and the Cullen Crust wristband - before you tell me it's Cullen Crest, I know what I'm typing - and the movie looks so good clear and big screen.

I want New Moon now, please. With no screw ups or anything. They add in more Edward, I'm going to flip my shit. Please, please, please, Summit. Keep to the book. New Moon's magic will be lost if you shove Robert Pattinson's pretty little face onto the screen more than necessary. (Oh, yes, his pretty little face is pretty. Pssh. More than pretty actually.)

I already had a list of what I like and what I didn't like. I'd add in, but I'm too lazy right now. You can look through my 'twilight' tags yourself.

bonjour!

2008-12-07T19:25:00.002+08:00

Wrote again. Be nice. Aku malu. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's kind of too... private to be posted. Sort of.

Title: Flash Back
Read it (here).

I had fun today. Sort of. Haha :D

Happy birthday, Noya! xx

of ucas and narnia.

2008-12-06T15:58:00.002+08:00

UCAS application is stressing me out. My mom is stressing me out about UCAS application. I'm stressing myself out over UCAS application.

I'd like to blame it on my non-existent registration teacher, and the blame does partly rests on her in a way. I have reference forms that need to be filled -- I never gave the form back to my counselor, who's a bit pissy every time I see him to say the least. I need my personal statement checked. I need my plan of study checked. I'm not even sure if my leaving form ever made it to the registrar.

And I need to do this all by the 15th of January 2009, because there's the possibility that I'm going for umrah in that time when applications for UCAS, scholarship and the results coming out are going on. There's a 30th June deadline, but I don't want to risk it. Say the course I want runs out of spaces? I'd be in deep shit, especially since deciding and rapid switching isn't exactly what I do best.

Missing my ability to apply early by a C is stressing me out, still. ACC. I was so close. There's srs bsns stalking of the school going on when school reopens next year. This needs to be done.

Ugh.

I'm going back to the land of boys and girls on a mission, and owls, and giants, and islands. Can you guess what I'm reading?

ramble

2008-12-05T15:44:00.004+08:00

FACT: I wrote so much better three years ago than I do now.

Ugh. :((((

And, I forgot the password to my photobucket. Great. Just great. I'm not even sure which email I used for it. Humph. ----Hah, found my password.

the chase.

2008-12-05T00:37:00.001+08:00

I'm tired of chasing, of having to walk distances to get to you. Any -- all -- of you.

I've only been doing for more than half of my life.

the tv shows of today have nothing on the tv shows of the yesteryears.

2008-12-03T14:26:00.004+08:00

The Guardian (2001-2004): one of my favourite TV shows ever has come back to, well, TV. Instead of Hallmark, Nick Fallin's now on AXN. I missed this show ♥

Now if The Practice and Boston Public came back, I'd be one happy girl. And while we're at it, let's bring back Buffy, and Charmed, then. Hahaha.

Favourite. Shows. Ever. Of the late 90's/early 00's.

I'd love it if someone could give me the old 90210.

love --

2008-12-01T17:03:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Bloc Party's Intimacy album.

Third post today. Get over it.

"Love is not just a vain game you play with yourself, agonising over your mistakes: it's the most important thing that can happen to you."
-Gordon Moakes

Source: HERE.

I dream about being with you forever.

2008-12-01T13:55:00.004+08:00

Listening to: The Black Ghosts - Full Moon

BIG BIG BIG SPOILERS!!!

I'm going on my sixth time.

(Click for my Twilight review. It's hardly a review anyway. Just a list of the things I love and the things I had a problem with.)

I didn't think I'd love the movie. And I'm very nitpicky about book adaptations. (I could spend hours breaking Order of the Phoenix apart -- my least favourite movie out of all those released so far -- didn't like Prisoner of Azakaban all that much as well. Fourth was my favourite -- Mike Newell = genius.) But I actually really, really, really love this movie. And if everyone ends up hating it, well, I don't care.

More for me to love.

i'd rather have the tiring days of every day than have one moment of peaceful silence.

2008-12-01T00:05:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Robert Pattinson - Let Me Sign

His voice gives me chills.

I finally get my first proper break since the holidays started. The last couple of days have been crazy.

Breakfast and movie with Dzar and Fakhri on Wednesday morning. Pusat Ehsan dinner on Wednesday night. Dzar's birthday surprise on Friday morning 'til afternoon. Badminton with Dzar and Fakhri on Saturday morning. The HMS Pinafore musical by the ISB students on Saturday afternoon -- got to meet up with Sally, Yee Ping, Cikgu Seri Ainey and Ms Joanna. Pusat Ehsan charity expo at the Mall, and doa selamat for Ka Piah, Nuryn and Zeidan on Sunday afternoon. Nani and Noya's (birthday) party on Sunday night. Grandmother visits every single night of last week.

Today, later on, sleep. Tomorrow, more sleep (and maybe start clearing out my room of any school-related junk for the mean time). Wednesday, I think I'm doing that HEU attachment thing at school? Haha. (Hardly an attachment anyway. More like a cleaning campaign.) Thursday, more sleep, unless some people want to drag my lazy ass out to - oh, forbid - do more sports.

I'm lazy, and it's the holidays. I have this -- *gestures to wide space of emptiness* -- to look forward to for the next two months. I'm going to ignore the fact that everyone's pressuring me to make a decision on my future soon.

On the other hand, keeping myself busy helps me to stop thinking.

P/S the Twilight movie doesn't look bad, and the score and soundtrack kick ass. Biiiiiiiiig chunk of spoilers maybe. But I have to say this: kudos to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Love them both as Edward and Bella! Chemistryyyyyyy ♥ Can't wait 'til it comes to Brunei's big screens! (I've now watched it a total of four times on the grainy quality I got -- thanks Nani and Jims!) Doubting is good; the movie seemed so much better than what I feared it would be.

2008-11-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

Oh, yeah. I've watched it.

Happy birthday, Zee ♥ :)

2008-11-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday, Dzar ♥ :)

maybe they should've danced to "scream".

2008-11-27T12:25:00.003+08:00

HSM3: Senior Year wasn't bad. Very, very, very cheesy and predictable, but not bad. And I agree with people who say there wasn't enough dancing. Mostly singing, less with the dancing. The new minor characters they casted didn't hold that much importance to the storyline, imo, more like just for comic relief. But I guess some minors are important as well (hahaha I wrote a paper on that for Lit for Anthills). Also, what is with Zac Efron's solos? Pahahaha. Last year, it was Michael Jackson/Justin Timberlake. Now, they have a number where the scene looks like something out of a music video -- to be more specific, an NSYNC video :P Favourite songs? Okay, okay, Efron's "Scream" solo and the cast's "A Night to Remember". I still think Lucas Gabreel's voice is the best (haha I have a liking for tenors, but they all sound good -- it is, after all, a musical), Olesya Rulin's super pretty, and Zanessa do look good together.

Overall a feel-good movie.

3.8/5

I have plans to talk about last night's Pusat Ehsan event at Holiday Lodge. Just not right now. No pictures, but I've got enough words to go around on how yesterday, as a whole, made me feel.

Thank you.

and the twilight discussions continue.

2008-11-25T15:48:00.005+08:00

Twilight spoilers galore!

If you can't stand quasi-bashing, I suggest you don't click the links.
If you can't stand spoilers, I suggest you don't click the links.

If you're looking for a nice, big laugh, I suggest you click the links.

(Breaking Dawn commentary)
There are other links to her other commentary. You can find them yourselves.

(Twilight Movie in Fifteen Minutes)

GD epic.

P/S There's another spoof of the Twilight book I found months ago. I can't find it now, but that was pure shitload of win. Haha. Zatty, remember?

gtfo

2008-11-24T19:51:00.002+08:00

I'm tired of trying to protect myself from all your disappointments. Get the fuck out of my life.

I apologize for my rudeness.

I'm not hating; just putting my large foot down.

2008-11-24T17:36:00.007+08:00

Listening to: Twilight OST

GTFO if you think I'm jumping the bandwagon, but I was a fan of Twilight since the start of the year. And GTFO if you think I'm jumping the bashing bandwagon because everyone's doing it. I'm not bashing it in a omg-this-thing-is-so-bad-it's-unbelievable-!!!!1!!!!. It's more on a critical standpoint and with a maturity I didn't have when I started reading it 10 months ago.

There's always going to be a complaint when everyone starts getting into something. Like "Mine!!!!! GTFO you've only been a fan for three weeks" comments. I'm not going to do that, because it's pretentious and plain arrogant, and when it comes down to it, a fan is a fan -- no matter how stupid and creepy they act. It was fine while it lasted when Twilight remained under the radar, and I don't care that everyone's reading it now. It's a famous book -- of course everyone's going to end up reading it.

What shits me out is the fact that they're saying it's the best book they've every read, that it's so well-written and everything.

Wrong. NO. Just, NO. (If I could, I'd underline it multiple times.)

More often than not, it's most likely the story you're referring to, not the actual writing. And when you do say it's the best thing you've ever read because it's so well-written, you need a fucking knock in the head.

When it comes down to it, Twilight is really more like bad literature (or when the first chapter of BD was leaked, bad fanfiction), not to discredit Stephenie Meyer or anything because she really has a knack for storytelling. But that's just it.

Think about it. For about 75% of Twilight, the book is pretty much about Bella describing how devastatingly gorgeous/handsome Edward is and how much she's in love with him and Edward, in this book, is pretty much flat and two-dimensional. Yes, he's very devastatingly sweet and yes, I get the whole adrenaline rush of the first love thing -- sort of -- and it's nice, I guess. For about 75% of Twilight, the lines are so cheesy and just -- The plot? Only came in the last quarter of the book. And I'm nitpicky, but when you have a pretty sharp eye, you'll notice that there are some grammar mistakes in the book. Don't believe me? I have two other people to back me up on this. I'd find the page for you, but I really don't want to have to go through 1000+ pages of it. There's at least one in every book.

I get the underlying tones of sexual tension and appeal that vampires have, and I admit it's one of the things that ended up drawing me into the story. Out of the series, though, Twilight is my favourite book. The stories seem to go on a downward spiral from there. Interesting, yes. But the ending to the saga was totally anti-climatic.

The Host, in terms of writing, is better, and I do like it better. But even then, it's really mostly storytelling. I get that books are about that, but the most important thing in fiction (be it books or movies) is the plot. Without a plot, well, it's almost like blogging about your every day life. Boring right?

Even with all that, I'm not discrediting Twilight or Stephenie Meyer or the saga. I still like the story, just not as much as I did initially. I'm just trying to say it like it is, and most of you would probably hate me for clouding your perfect vision of the book with the most perfect man in fictional existence. You want real, good literature? Take up English Lit as a subject (Lit rules (!) despite the massive amount of time taken to dissect and analyze a perfectly good book to bits -- probably why I ended up doing it with Twilight), seek out classics, or those on the New York Times' Bestsellers' List (not all, but quite a number are really good) -- yes, I'm promoting, because I'm a dork like that.

Twilight's good for the first few months. After that, it kind of just loses its magic.

That being said, I'm not looking forward to the movie. I'm still going to watch it -- I'm not just as excited and srs bsns over it anymore. (I am looking forward to New Moon's adaptation, though, especially the cliff-diving and Italy scenes.)

Harry Potter > Twilight, dudes. T's not going to be bigger than HP or LotR.

P/S Soundtrack still kicks ass. Indie/rock ftw! Plus, credit for some of the thoughts expressed up there goes to my cousin, Zee.

I apologize if it's hard to read. I notice my paragraphs are long and a really tight fit.

Hahaha. Shit. It's longer than I thought.

so. bored.

2008-11-23T17:40:00.003+08:00

I hate being a vegetable.

EDIT@7.40PM

GD GD GD. My writer heart is bleeding.

This is a cause for remediation.

2008-11-21T19:04:00.002+08:00

Listening to: Copeland - Testing the Strong Ones

So life as a vegetable commences...

A-Levels are over, finally. All my exams were thankfully not as hard as I imagined them to be. Whether that thought reflects in the end result is another story. Business Studies wasn't as crappy as it was back in June, or mocks, so hopefully a respectable C -- I'm not asking for higher. English Lit, while a lot of my essays exceeded my usual limit (hahahaha even with reference, I can always only get up to two pages which isn't even the minimum), there's a lot of anxiety that comes with my essay writing -- or my writing, in general. I feel like I kept circling the same points a lot of the time. Poo. But hopefully, Mr Holland's optimism didn't go to waste. Chemistry, while not dsjkgsdlkgdsgfsalkdsfsgahorriblefuckery, is not going to be my strongest. One question completely left out because I didn't bother reading the chapter, but everything else was pretty okay. And Biology, let's hope third time's a charm, and I can finally get that B -- or an A, if I'm feeling very ambitious -- because 2 and 4 (and 1) are kind of my saving graces. If it's lower than a B, well, say hello to the June exams.

(And I really, really, really, hopefully, truly wish that I don't have to sit for the A-Level exams again. One time's enough.)

Okay, so maybe I'm not a total vegetable. Yesterday was Nani's birthday, the last of the 91ers (hahahahaha gila I haven't referred to that in aaaaages) to turn 17. So, happy birthday cousin :D DVD date, definitely soon-ish.

Today is Kak Ani's birthday :D I was over at their place last night up til half past midnight, after I was over at Nani's. For the most part, played cars with Hafiy, in all my sickly glory. Eee I hope he and Mina don't get sick or anything :S

And Mush's birthday :D

Happy birthday, duuuuuuuuuuudes! ♥

I went to the UCAS seminar over the James Hon office in Kiulap earlier this afternoon. Really helpful, and I'm sorry I couldn't join in the surprise for Mush. U of Essex seems nice. But Mr Tim Gutsell totally helped clear up some stuff about the rankings and such of the universities in UK. Even though MoE and the scholarship department depend heavily on the Times' rankings, we should really be more concerned with the quality and environment of the uni.

(Why grammar and spelling are important. Case in point: uni reps aren't going to take you seriously if you have the grammar and spelling capacity of a second grader. This is in regards to your personal statement.)

So, not a complete vegetable. Tomorrow there's another round of school to finish up with the leaving form, then maybe a movie with the others. Sunday is Ayie's graduation.

And because I'm like that, and couldn't help myself, I gave into reviews for Twilight. They're on equal footing, but I think I'm going to be in the percentage of people who won't like it. Saddening, but it's true. That's what I get for reading early reviews. But I've got a week. Maybe the excitement will morph into blindness for the potential fail.

I would really like to catch up on South Park now.

how can one look so stunningly beautiful? i want to run my fingers through your hair, as creepy as that sounds ):

2008-11-18T16:32:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is...'s Seed
"Hope now, as I walk away, you're the one who finds me out."
+ the Mostly Acoustics, Part One mixtape from yesterday.

I'm going positively apeshit over Biology 5. I'm trying not to, and for the most part, I am succeeding, but I can't help but think about how bad that paper was. I felt so tempted to write "WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?" on the paper, but I'm trying to get over my need to swear over every little obstacle and besides, I don't think the old farts marking our papers will appreciate the youth's lack of articulation and class. Biology 2 was easy for the most part. But you know what they say about easy papers =/ I'm just hoping third time's a charm, and I'll get something higher than a D this time. (For the past two exams, from the breakdown, paper 2 has always been a mere D.) What's annoying is that there was nothing on mitosis or the heart or the cell membrane. What's great is that the mechanics of protein synthesis and the mass flow thing didn't come out, nor did much of the cell came out.

Biology 4's going to be tricky. I'm going to need to kick ass at this paper. Thankfully A2's always been significantly better for me than the AS. I'm hoping that translates onto the paper this Thursday. Amin.

I am beyond relieved the exams are going to be over soon.

This morning's little spectacle isn't helping me get over it. Four days ago I was positively going on a downward spiral of pure batshit. I don't know how my poor heart can possibly take the inevitability of a crushing, bruising disappointment. But thank you for the pleasure and time of your company, you two -- three? -- even though, for the most part, Muj and I probably disturbed your peace of studying and yapped the entire time about our days in PDS. Ahhh good times.

i despise oil.

2008-11-17T13:47:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Kings of Leon - Use Somebody

Truth, I hate these tagging games :p

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instruction with your picture.
5. Tag 5 people to do this.

Ew, I look gross, but here it is. I didn't fix my hair, cuz I was still wearing tudong. No editing, even though I was itching to tag it. And no, I refuse to tag 5 people.

It's definitely normal, I think, for people to complain about what they eat. Having McDonald's always makes me unbearably queasy because of all the grease and oil. I cannot stand oil. I can't look at it, I can't touch it, and the thought of it sitting in my stomach grosses me a lot. I can just feel the oil sticking to my veins and arteries. Ew ):

Last Lit paper today, the 20th century texts one. Les Murray was sort of easy, but, as usual, I can't decide if I like my essay or not. The Guide, on the other hand, was a bit tricky. For me, at least. It's either that or I just got bored writing the same thing over and over again. It's so frigging repetitive.

My final Biology papers next. Almost over! :D

thank you.

2008-11-15T23:55:00.004+08:00

Listening to: the talents and wonders of the Jason Mraz and James Morrison collaboration on a 6-minute of epic goodness. Thank you, JMraz and JMorrison, for calming my frenzied insides at least slightly.

"Raise your head, Iz. Have more confidence."

Quite possibly the best thing anyone's ever said to me all year, even if said person meant it as a joke. Thank you. You know who you are :)

Admittedly, it's quite hard, especially with the self-esteem capacity of a teaspoon.

I miss Dzar and Fakhri. ):

oh draco, why so sad? ):

2008-11-15T16:09:00.002+08:00

Three major things happened today.

One, congratulations Ayie, for getting 5As! :D

Two,

GET A LOAD OF THIS. This trailer is SO much better than the second one. :D :D :D :D :D

With the disappointing probability that Twilight might not premiere here on the 21st, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince would have come out, and that really would have been a cause for celebration. The trailer looks really, really, really, really good. Oh, July, why must you be so far away?

Three. Errrr, well, yeah. :) :) :) :) Tic tacs, fidgeting, a back corner in the library, and the pinkest face in the history of pink faces. I should thank Zatty, probably, but I'm pretty sure, like I said, it won't move past awkward. :p

"Nothing can come of nothing, " says King Lear.

2008-11-14T18:15:00.003+08:00

Listening to: City and Color - Comin' Home

Literature 5 went fine. Four pages each, which should be sufficient enough I hope. I couldn't afford to write any more than that.

I thought, at first, it was amazing, because the free response David Copperfield question was based on his school days - and I'd spent weeks and weeks reading the first third of his life. I'd been shitting bricks over the rest of the book, but thank God only his childhood came out. So... good. But then, I forgot one aspect of his school days, and now I'm all "Oh my God, that's going to bring my entire grade down."

King Lear was another matter. I'd finished reading the play in a day so everything was still fresh, and I'd drawn up a character web last night, except The Fool, because I was lazy and thought he wouldn't have been important enough. Big mistake. So, that left me with the passage-based one, which I had a bit of a kick answering. Not as strong as my Copperfield essay, probably, but I'm slightly happier about this essay compared to the Caesar essay last Wednesday.

I know. Talking about my papers is completely and utterly boring, but I had to do something to get rid of my anxiety over my other Literature papers. At one point, on the ride home, the thought that I might have written the wrong question number and letter at the top of each page came up. That sent my nerves into a frenzy. Nothing I can do about it now. Ah.

Four more papers, three more days. In a week, I'll finally be free of exams.

Love.

2008-11-13T18:40:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Switchfoot - Love Is The Movement

Happy TWLOHA Day!

"hold on, if you feel like letting go."

2008-11-12T20:47:00.005+08:00

Listening to: Good Charlotte - Hold On

I have all I need, the only ones I will ever need, and I thank Allah every day for having you in my life. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now.

You are not singular. You are plural.

If you don't know who you are, well I suppose it's safe to say it's a huge blow to my heart.

It's time like these that I miss having your shoulder to lean on, someone to run to. I miss you, I always will, but no matter how much I wish for the old days, it doesn't change anything, and these days are all I have left. I miss you, the best friend I ever had.

Today's exam paper tragedy:

Chemistry 4 was devastatingly easy. Devastating. And I could have answered it, if I hadn't passed over the kinetics chapter completely, and I paid a bit more attention to the calculations. But the biology-based questions were alright, and I managed to do the first page of organic chemistry with no problem after I realized that it was so simple, it almost made me cry. I'll have to deal with the rest when it comes. I'll be happy with a C. It's the highest grade I can hope for.
Literature 4 was... okay. And it's disturbing that I find it okay because I still feel like my essays were weak and lacked substance, but I hadn't written a Caesar essay or AVFTB essay since the June exams and I managed to scrape a C for that paper. If my grades between 3 and 4 switched, I'm going to flip my shit. No, not literally. More than anything, I hope I don't disappoint Mr Holland after his A prediction for me. I don't think I could take the heartbreak of that disappointment again.
This is not a tragedy so much as it's a very, deliriously happy announcement. EIGHT MORE FRIGGIN' DAYS.

i talk books and music.

2008-11-10T19:28:00.004+08:00

Listening to: classic rock, and right now, it's Bon Jovi's Livin' On A Prayer

I'd like to say that my exam went well this afternoon, but then that would be a lie. I'd like to say that my revision was enough, but it wasn't, and accounting the fact that I barely got any sleep because I was so shit-stirred about something that happened (only one, or was it two, people know of this), the last paper I will ever have to take for Business Studies was okay.

Not too brilliant, not too horrible. But I'll say honestly that I'll be lucky if I manage to scrape a C, with how pathetic my essay looked like - a page and a half for a 20-mark essay.

Business, clearly, is not my forte.

But for now, I would like to forget about that. I can beat myself up over it again some other time. For now, I'll watch Def Leppard and Taylor Swift videos on YouTube (watch When Love and Hate Collide and Photograph - classic DL, and quite an incredible fresh twist with Swift singing with them; you should even listen to this version of Teardrops On My Guitar - it's amazing) and read the latest book I bought. It's going good so far.

If I'm feeling particularly better (or just evil, really), I'll rip apart a book I previously praised. Story? Good. Writing? Too exaggerated and word-heavy. Three guesses as to which book I'm talking about, and the first two don't count.

(I feel like I'm referring to Da Vinci Code now. I'm not. And I only mention DVC because my sister bought the book from yesterday's trip to Reader's Haven. It's hardly a haven to me anymore - they don't have Jay Asher or Sarah Dessen, and it's practically a given, but I did not see Jodi Picoult amongst the shelves anywhere.)

time wasterrrr.

2008-11-08T18:44:00.003+08:00

For lack of something better to do.

I've written more on my new project. I've read and noted eight chapters of David Copperfield in the last six hours. I've gone over Electrochemistry. I've got two containers of seaweed waiting for me downstairs. I've not gone over any Business Studies material, and am not looking forward to the three-hour paper on Monday.

I'm listening to Robert Pattinson. I'm listening to The Academy Is...'s song, 'Coppertone'. I'm on SocialVibe, trying to figure out what else I can do to gain more points, and trying to figure out how to get a Pink Ball. I'm reading blogs - and incidentally, updating mine - when I should get back to David Copperfield's whining. I'm in need of intellectual stimulation. I'm in need of new reading material. I'm in need of new music.

The Chemistry 5 paper went fine, I guess. I don't know. The paper was all weird. Biology 1 was definitely a whole lot better than June's, although I'll only know the state of my grade in January. And Literature 3 was definitely, absolutely, positively better than June. But that's only probably because I'm much more prepared this time around - I actually read Anthills two weeks before the exams, and finished up on AS Poetry two months ago.

ohdaydreamer invites you to SocialVibe.com

Please do join SocialVibe. And when you do, please do click on the "Join Me" button. Please? :) You'll do me a huge favour if you do.

SocialVibe is an easy way of contributing to a Cause that you support. You pick a sponsor, and post your badge on your public profile. With every view your badge gets, that's one point to your sponsor, and $1 is donated to your Cause by your sponsor as a result. :)

Causes include To Write Love On Her Arms, WWF (World Wildlife Foundation - save the orangutans and sea turtles and gorillas!), PETA2, Invisible Children, and so much more.

Basically, this is a feeble attempt at updating. You can go back to your lives now.

Hello, Middle of the Night. It's been a while.

2008-11-03T01:45:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Robert Pattinson - Never Think

Finally have a clear, recorded version! :D All those crap recordings (useful, and very much appreciated) did no justice to it. Yes, he sounds like he mumbles. But his voice is so soulful, it almost made me cry. This man is beyond amazing.

The time, it says currently, is 1:47AM and really, what better way to fill the silence with something as soothing and slow as this? Especially with the rest of the house sleeping. Hello, Middle of the Night. It's been a while.

I just finished watching Iron Man about an hour ago. (Finally!) And it so awesome, I can't believe I missed it in cinema. Still annoyed by that, but Prince Caspian, and later The Dark Knight remedied that. I don't know which parts got me most, but yeah, definitely funny. Robert Downey Jr is a genius. I laughed, I teared, I gasped, I cheered. Seriously. When they mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury I got seriously excited. I just checked a few minutes ago, and they're making an Avengers movie! (Please don't fall through... Please don't fall through...) The only thing I'm annoyed with is the sequel coming out in 2010. I suppose it's better than nothing. We get X-Men Origins: Wolverine next year along with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! And InsyaAllah by then I'll have my license :D And I think we also get the Transformers sequel in 2009? Oh, and the first part to Deathly Hallows in 2010!

I don't remember the last time I talked about movies. I know it's not my usual critic shpeel, but I haven't done it so long, so you'll just be getting a rant. Maybe when I'm not running on low food, I'll write up a better review of Iron Man - even though it's six months late.

Other 2009 films to look forward to: Push, Dragonball (for the lulz - and, Spike is going to be in it okay? And I've not heard or seen of James Marsters since I stopped watching Buffy - and okay, a bit of PS I Love You), Angels & Demons
(Confirmed 2009 release date, plus the above mentioned.)

And though I have zero interest in politics, I am aware that the election is tomorrow. Who do you want to win?

I think I may just go to sleep now. New week opens, with three papers to sit for this week. Seventeen days left until it's over! :D

annoyance is not nice.

2008-11-01T20:30:00.002+08:00

I am beyond annoyed and upset with myself. A few batches of pictures never made it to my computer, or my back up, because I was under the impression that I'd already done so. :( :( :(

Other than that, a nice productive day, a bit of Transport and a bit of Poetry squeezed in between all the madness. (Hah. That's an exaggeration, really.)

Who am I kidding? I'm still annoyed.

...literature and its life lessons.

2008-10-31T16:09:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Copeland

Taking a much needed break from Literature and its life lessons.

My heart is: on overdrive.

Taken from a questionnaire back in April. Hahaha. And currently, my heart is still on overdrive, and my insides are still going crazy. Getting over someone is harder than I thought. Especially when dreams come back to haunt you with images of the could-be's. Granted, the process only started about a week ago - haha - a conscious effort on my part. I can't believe it's been ten - almost eleven - months since the first moment.

"I'll protect you."

2008-10-28T13:40:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Robert Pattinson - Never Think

Recorded!RPattz is much easier on the ear for a first timer compared to Live!RPattz. His voice really just soothes you right to the bone. But at this point, both live and recorded are ♥ to me. I can't wait until the Twilight soundtrack is finally released.
(But then again, I won't be surprised if people still think he's crap. Or claim to love him just because he's some hot actor.)
Jeff Buckley is amazing. R.I.P.
I don't think I'm going to breathe much during Twilight. And they may need several paramedics ready outside the cinema. And several oxygen tanks.
I might as well have watched the entire movie by now, what with all these clips bombarding the Internet. OHWELL. I DON'T CARE :D And, fyi, British man RPattz's American accent is flawless.
The Academy Is... are the cutest boys in the entire world. Go watch their About A Girl video.
I've read more books (with no relation to school whatsoever) in this week alone compared to last month. I shouldn't. I should stop.

And, I should be studying/revising Business Studies. Hello, next exam.

love is a powerful thing indeed.

2008-10-27T21:49:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Switchfoot - You

I'd just finished reading A Walk to Remember, when I really should be reading David Copperfield or King Lear. After that, I watched Tarzan. The start already had me blubbing like a fool, but that was probably caused by my overly sensitived tear ducts.

A parent shouldn't have to go through the pain of watching their child die. A child shouldn't exceed their parents in life.

Trufax.

So onwards with the point of this post.

I still don't get the ongoing debate between A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. I'm a huge romantic, just like everybody else, but I've always always loved AWTR's story better than TN's. I've loved it since I first watched the movie adaptation after my PCE exams (yes, I remember, and it was that far back), and I've loved it more ever since I first read the book a few years back.

Both versions made me smile and cry and laugh. It's really just one of those really pure stories, one of those heart breakingly beautiful things that really just shows us that there is love in this world. That humanity is not that cruel. That there is faith and hope and redemption in this life.

Sure, TN garnered more positive reviews compared to AWTR's adaptation. And sure, TN probably is a romance story in every sense of the world. But to me, the message isn't just as powerful as AWTR's.

I've been arguing my case for why AWTR is and always will be the better story to me over and over again. It isn't until TWLOHA and my own experiences, that made me really understand why AWTR had such a big impact on me. And no, I'm not implying I'm terminally ill.

And yeah, so he changes for her to become a better person. And yeah, so she dies. So what? It's just a story. But compared to TN, they get to grow old together even through her sickness and die in each other's arms in the end. So yeah, that's why it's better. Oh, and it helps that that guy playing Noah is way cuter than Shane West.

(If people didn't catch it, the entire paragraph preceding this is meant to be sarcastic.)

Yes, it's just a story, but it's faith in pure, true love speaks out to people.

I'm not saying TN's bad - despite what other (definitely) more professional critics say, TN is completely and utterly boring, doing pretty uch zero for my severed heartstrings, still, even with all unconditional love taken into consideration. I'm just saying that I love A Walk to Remember, and the message it gives out. It isn't just a love story; it is faith, love, hope and redemption all rolled into one.

I don't care if you laugh at my inane point of view. I don't care if you sat there and read all this and thought, "Nope, TN's still better." Fine. I'm just getting my view out there.

And while we're on the subject of love and hope, go visit To Write Love On Her Arms or its sister sites on myspace and facebook.

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

tai helps me miss them less. :(

2008-10-24T12:54:00.006+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is...

Hello, darlings. :D
The Butcher's beard scares me :(

A few months ago, I told myself I'd cut down on the sap. But I can't help it because I don't get to see Dzar until our Chemistry 5 exam (which is next month, in two weeks!) and Fakhri until this Wednesday. So yes, I can't help it. Even though it's only been three and four days since I've seen them each, I miss you two. Like, loads.

But it's okay, 'cuz I get to see them soon. (Or at least that's where my mind-set is.) And William Beckett is serenading me through my computer speakers. Oh, After The Last Midtown Show just came on. An ode to Gabe Saporta's old band. Well, just the title really. asskdflhdflkgsdsdfj;lf

I blame Fox & the Hound.

these love notes: a son to a mother.

2008-10-22T18:57:00.003+08:00

New writings up on LJ.

Read it (here).

Nice comments are love. :)

Business Studies 1 went okay this morning. I feel like I should've written more. But that's probably what I get for not really reading and falling sick on the same day. So, that's two down, and a bunch of others left. 20th November can't come soon enough.

Happy 19th birthday, Jilah! ♥

muj becomes snap happy! part two.

2008-10-21T19:16:00.005+08:00

Listening to: All Time Low - Vegas
"Make this last, take it slow; we've got it all figured out for now"

For the lulz. HAHA. :P

Muj goes snap happy part two. Taken today, whilst in the attempt to study. Haaa. Pictures of the day from this batch. It's days like these that make me happy. All those random bursts of laughter, with the people who matter the most out of all the rest. I don't need to mention names. But they know who they are ♥

I got my predicted grades: ACDC. It's not bad, but not good enough. Back to the books, it seems. Ha. Virtual cookies to anyone who knows what the D is. It's no surprise really.

P/S We're starting a movement soon. Have love. Love is a movement.

piyah.

2008-10-19T21:54:00.000+08:00

Happy 13th birthday, Piyah ♥

semi-hiatus, for the biggest exams of my life.

2008-10-15T10:53:00.003+08:00

Why don't I ever learn?

SEMI-HIATUS.

Updates every now and then, rare as they may be. Maybe.

See you next month on the 20th!

muj becomes snap happy!

2008-10-13T17:19:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Amber Pacific - Watching Over Me

Muj got a hold of my camera this morning, and went completely and utterly snap happy. Haha. Just four out of a hundred plus he took. And I do know how to count. I took the first picture.

I'll go on semi-hiatus at post two-sixty.

First exam up: Biology 32, this Thursday. Yay.

And I went to Dzar's open house yesterday, ate four and a half rounds, and stayed there for seven hours. We left pretty much exhausted.

time-wasterrrrrrrr. and imysfm.

2008-10-10T17:31:00.003+08:00

I am time wasting. Clearly. My Chemistry isn't going to do itself, buttttttttttttttttttt...

HAIIIIIIIIII TRAILERRRRRRRRRRRRR!

:D :D :D (L)(L)(L)

HAI EDWARD AND BELLA. HAI CULLENS. HAI ESME. OH HELLO KISS AND MEADOW AND KALDJKSFGJHGLASHDLKJS HAIIIIIIII.

A new header seems to be in order in the near future. Yesterday's pictures are filled with oodles of win, and I can't just not use them. :) :) :) I miss you lot so much already.

Alright. I'll go now.

P/S is it normal to kind of feel like there's a hole in your chest? No? Oh.

and still i want you.

2008-10-07T18:49:00.002+08:00

Ten months down the line.
And my heart still beats the same way.

School's fine. Sort of. Just two more days and we, the seniors, are finally done. Exams coming up, and I'm not entirely ready, even though I started on most of the revision weeks ago. :( (Lit's done, thank God. I just need to sort out the Chemistry - still a bit to go - and Biology and Business Studies.)

The first four days of Raya was fine, I guess. The usual happens, resulting in massive headaches and aching ankles. Last Saturday was nice though. My dad's cousin came with her entire family, her kids and cucus. The cucus range from 9 months to 12 years. Absolutely adorable kids. For the first day, the family gathered at my place. I'm embarrassed to admit I wasn't being a very good host, mostly staying in the sidelines. But it was really, really, really tiring so I couldn't do a thing about it. I'd rather stay away than unleash some form of cranky bitchy rant on people who don't deserve it.

Sorry to everyone whose open house I didn't go to. But the first few days are always busy, so escaping the house wasn't possible. I went to Fakhri's yesterday, and next stop is Dzar's this Sunday.

I miss my brother :( :( :(

I still have a massive headache so I think I'm going to go now. Just needed to update this piece of junk on the Internet.

salam aidil fitri.

2008-10-01T18:58:00.004+08:00

My picture-searching ability is very limited, so this will have to do.

Again, selamat hari raya everyone!

I just want to take this opportunity to say:

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I've ever said anything to offend you. I'm sorry if I ever did you wrong. I'm sorry if I've ever cursed you or hit you out of frustration - I'm slowly growing up from that. I'm sorry if I ever made it seem like I didn't care or it seemed like I was pushing you away. I'm sorry for absolutely everything.

It's quite likely that I won't have the courage to articulate this to you in person, so this will have to do.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin
To my parents, to my family, to my cousins, aunts and uncles, to my best friends, to my every day people, to my teachers, to my classmates, and to you, dear readers and strangers.

♥♥

For the first time ever, the first day gathering for our family is going to be at our place. It's weird. It's a break from tradition. But seeing as how tradition is going under renovations at the moment - and by that, I mean the beloved Belait House that most of us grew up in - and Wan is living with us, I suppose it can't be helped. I don't think any of us has seen the house in months. I haven't seen it since Wan moved to Tutong.

Raju (of The Guide by R.K. Narayan) has a beard in Chapter 6 that reminded me of The Butcher's beard from The Academy Is... for some reason. Haa. Also, I take back what I said about Anthills of the Savannah (by Achebe, first name escapes me at the moment) being the most boring piece of literature I've ever read. That lovely little declaration should be referred to the former book. Admittedly it is an easier read, but I can at least relate to the writing theme in Anthills (and consequently, Ikem). (And Anthills has a better storyline imo.) Raju? I don't get Raju at all. When I finish The Guide, it pretty much marks my hiatus from Literature revision. I have Business Studies and Biology to deal with next.

And that's all it seems, folks.

With love,
Iznimb

Eid is not upon us yet.

2008-09-30T19:29:00.004+08:00

Listening to: The Rocket Summer

I'm assuming it's not Raya yet, because my mom hasn't called to tell me the splendid (not really) news. The house isn't near ready. Haha. When are we ever?

And I should be thankful, really, but the seamstress practically butchered the cloth my parents bought for us girls when they went on the Haj last December (and they're really pretty too), and now instead of sleeves that push past our wrists, we have instead an inch off. It feels too, too short. It feels inadequate. But, like I said, I should be thankful. Really.

I'm thankfully, finally, almost done with reading Anthills of the Savannah. I have a much better understanding of it now than I did over a year ago. I really should have read it weeks ago; I have a paper on The Guide due when school reopens, and I haven't even finished reading that! There's a trunk-load of other stuff that I haven't read yet that I really should get a move on with. My first exam is only in sixteen days...

The layout has been edited slightly. Icons, buttons, and others here and there. All in the name of support for various charity organizations that I'm slowly getting involved with. They're all US-based, though. Living in Brunei unfortunately limits my participation. Living in Brunei also unfortunately means that more than 60% of its youth don't care about things like these, more interested in living their comfortable lives, which means my voice - or something resembling it - goes unheard. Unless we're presented with cold, hard statistics, we're not likely to care.

But who am I to assume these things, right? Maybe we're all not mindless robots or sheep or whatever-you-want-to-call-them. I go around blogs and all I ever seem to read about these days is about their love lives. B-o-r-i-n-g.

But, again, we can't all deliver messages to people. Otherwise, we'd end up becoming a fad. What was once a means of liberation from conformity becomes something akin to a mainstream trend. Nothing, it seems, is wholly independent anymore.

Go figure.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone!

...has love.

2008-09-29T13:41:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Switchfoot - Meant To Live

I want to meet Jamie. I want to meet Renee. I want to go to their shows.

"Love is moving you."

2008-09-28T20:49:00.002+08:00

Listening to: the work-in-progress To Love, To Move mixtape
"Love is redemption."

All public profiles have been updated out of boredom. Well, MySpace was due for a big update anyway, although it's been done so partially. Even the blog's been updated, to put in my SocialVibe badge into the sidebar, although it can't seem to align itself properly. Facebook has been updated a bit as well. I had made a header with pictures I took this afternoon, but it was too big to fit in the top. And I've been picking out songs and rearranging them over and over again for my first mixtape, To Love, To Move.

All the while, the entire couple of hours I spent tinkering around with that, could have been spent on much-needed studying and revision. Haha.

I went for Qiammullail again last night, with my sister this time. Less people this time around, but Bapa says it's because a lot of the people stayed late for a celebration at the masjid a couple of hours before.

I have this massive blurb I'm not sure I want to post. It's about music, and the reasons why I listen to it. Why, in part, it helps. But like I said, I'm not sure I want to post it, in slight fear of backlash. The reality is Bruneians and the general dwellers of the Internet can be really, really harsh, even with their bigoted, narrow-minded view of the world. And because I really don't need to explain myself why I listen to it. Yes, in part for entertainment. But also for another large part that no one else knows about.

Preview:

Mixtape #0001 - To Love, To Move

XX. My Favourite Highway - You're Making It Come Alive
XX. The Rocket Summer - Run To You
XX. Amber Pacific - Watching Over Me
XX. Switchfoot - Love Is The Movement

Inspired largely by To Write Love On Her Arms.

social vibe.

2008-09-27T23:10:00.003+08:00

ohdaydreamer invites you to SocialVibe.com

Mhmmm. Do it!

And I know my profile picture is a super old one from yesteryear. Deal with it.

qimullail.

2008-09-26T05:53:00.002+08:00

I just got back from Masjid Sinaut for Qimullail. Finally. I've been wanting to go since my dad started going two years ago. Aside from being slightly tired and sore, it was nice. (:

Right, so back to bed. I went to sleep around 1 - tossed and turned for about an hour before finally passing out - and have been up since 2.

go out and read books, folks.

2008-09-22T19:53:00.003+08:00

Incoherency does not become me clearly. (Ref: Sunday the 21st's post.) But I've just read that both Barker and Goldstein are in stable condition. Whether or not Travis can drum anymore is another question.

Chemistry extra classes have been draining the life out of me. So much so that all I do during the day is sleep, and revising for my other three subjects are taking a complete backseat. I'm getting better at this Chemistry thing I think. I've done so many questions on Organic Chemistry and Transition Elements that I'm starting to become sick of it. And to think I hated these two topics with a passion just a month ago.

Other than that, there's really nothing else to report. Except, that in three weeks, we go back to school for another four days - a complete waste of time, imo - and that about a week later, the final exams finally start. College is so close to being over, I can't decide if I'm happy or not.

Twilight premieres in two months :D Two. More. Months. And in two more months, my exams will be over. Happy? Very much so.

There's a lot I want to type/say in all honesty, but I don't think it's safe. Haa. I'm practicing censoring my words. It'll save me in the long-run, I think. But the oppression! Too cruel.

Go out and read books, folks. Really. There's nothing better than curling up on the sofa on a cold day and a good book.

PS, Zatty, when I see you next, please please please don't forget My Sister's Keeper yeah? I'm cataloging my books like I have nothing better to do :p

omgwtf

2008-09-21T00:26:00.003+08:00

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1595303/20080920/barker__travis.jhtml

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20227709,00.html

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf!

incoherent right now. just found that. omgomgomg. CLICK ITT. if you are/were a huge fan of blink 182, you might want to click it. srsly.

wtf.

rumored nights.

2008-09-20T12:36:00.003+08:00

Hah. I'm getting a little braver.

But this is the only complete piece that I'm even slightly remotely proud of. If anyone's ever read any of my old stuff, they'll know that the style of writing here is way way way different than before and slightly darker in tone. (I guess.) Rating goes a bit up somewhere towards the end, but nothing too graphic.

Preview:

Everyday Lacey wonders how it came to this. As she sits on the cold floor of the shower, water from overhead beating down on her, arms around her knees, cheek against the wall, she thinks. And she hates thinking so much because it meant thinking about everything that was wrong. She thinks back on the last few years. On her estranged parents. On her younger brother.

She whimpers softly, clutching her knees tighter to her chest. Her tears slowly slide down her pale cheeks, mingling with the overhead water.

She wishes her brother never has to see her this way. Pathetic. Broken. Cold.

Alone.

(More here)

Comments make me happy. :)

gentle, so gentle.

2008-09-19T13:56:00.003+08:00

I have a TAI post that's ready to be posted. But, like most of my writings, I don't quite feel comfortable posting it yet. I'll have to run it by Zatty (who's become almost like my own personal beta) before I post it. Haha.

I've to go now. I've a Chemistry test to study for (I know right? Who gets full-on-syllabus tests during the holidays?) and a hospital to go to.

Until then, I've decided to post this. Cross-links to my Livejournal account, where as I've mentioned before, will be where all my writings and rants and musings will be posted. Comments on the LJ itself. You don't need an account. Comments will make me happy. :) Considering I'm being brave for once.

...and my heart does a little flip.

2008-09-15T15:24:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Bloc Party - Intimacy album

I just downloaded the album, which I wasn't aware even existed until a few days ago. It is made of pure epicwin ♥ I can't pick a favourite, although Halo, Ion Square and Trojan Horse are pretty amazing. (y)

Bloc Party - Talons

I ended up watching the 2005 film version of Pride & Prejudice with Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfayden. Pride and Prejudice is still such an incredibly beautiful piece, it still brings tears to my eyes, and makes me smile. Finishing the book has become one of my goals for the year. As well as finally finding Sense and Sensibility. I love the Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson version. (Emma Thompson ftw!)

Ugh. Chemistry and Biology and Business Studies beckons. Until next time. Maybe a lengthy version of why Intimacy is an awesome album.

half-ass attempts and other musings.

2008-09-12T17:12:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Rocket Summer - Do You Feel album

I'm not in the right state of mind to study, maybe because I woke up at 1 today or maybe for another reason entirely. Or maybe it's because my muscles are sluggish, and I'm bundled in cosily in my Billy Elliot sweatshirt and my favourite pair of sweatpants. I hate the fact that I can't concentrate long enough to study or revise anything.

I also hate the fact that I probably looked like half a moron, staring at the neatly arranged row of tabasco sauce (I was looking at the harbanero sauce specifically) and being caught by a schoolmate. Someone's bromance best friend. Hah.

Zatty says I have pianist's fingers. I disagree. They're too short. But hand-fascination aside, the only conclusion I can come up with her declaration is because I write too much - rather, I type too much, evidenced by the fact that I managed to punch out almost an entire chapter of some crazy idea that wouldn't stop bothering me in Chemistry and Business Studies yesterday. Well, it's pretty much a recycled crazy idea, that I stopped giving any concentration on earlier this year when it became apparent that I lost my buzz or just wasn't interested in the story enough to actually continue it. The prologue sounds like a half-ass attempt, and it sounds so messy, and so out of place that I can't even tell if it works right.

He lays on the floor, wincing every time he so much as blinks. The room swims around in his hazy vision, alternating between a depressing grey and a vibrant mass of colours that he can’t make any sense of.

He moves his hand, tears springing to his eyes at the pain as he tries to reach for the phone just inches away from his fingers. He hisses, as a recently-closed wound opens. He tries to move forward, before groaning and giving up altogether.

Tears escape his eyes. He wills to disappear, wills for the black to engulf him. There’s no point in living, not this way. Not when the one meant to protect him was pushing him away – in more ways than one. Not when the one person who meant the most to him in the world was out of his life.

He closes his eyes, bracing against the darkness, willing for his dreams to take him away.

Angst! Emo! Angst! Emo!

Call it whatever you want, but it's MY messy half-ass attempt, out-of-place, that-doesn't-quite-work-right angsty/emo chaos.

Oh, and happy birthday to Ajik. :)

skins/oth/love

2008-09-09T16:30:00.004+08:00

Listening to: The Rocket Summer - Do You Feel
"And how these hands can create some better things for bettering"

Because orang tagih. Hahaha. ;)

The Skins/OTH/Love pictures. I'll be bringing my hard disk the next two days. So if you want pictures, you know what to do. Because as you know, my pictures will be edited and will be tagged. Hahaha. I don't know how much that helps but, internet identity theft is so not cool. Quality of pictures are not-so-fine; they're grainy.

Ew. Even the colouring bothers me.

Because I can't really express myself verbally (ironic, if one thinks about it too much), I'd like to say:

Thanks for last Saturday, Wardah ♥

Literature's my saving grace. Ironically, I got an A for the Les Murray paper, and Bs for King Lear and David Copperfield. Overall, a B, but I was three points off an A. So, so close...

It's the last week of school. Yay.

closer and closer.

2008-09-07T15:27:00.001+08:00

Unupdated blog links removed. I apologize.

Edit later.

these school days are almost over.

2008-09-04T16:02:00.003+08:00

If you want to read it, go to the cut below:

(I want to have my cake, and eat it too.)

Yes, it links to my livejournal account that I haven't used since April, or at all really. I'll put the writings there, and other assorted stuff. Once I get over the fear of posting my writings.

standard updates.

2008-09-01T18:40:00.003+08:00

Rooney

http://www.myspace.com/rooney

No, I'm not talking about the football player. I don't even watch it.

The Rooney in question is a band. You'll recognize the lead singer; Michael Moscovitz from the film version of The Princess Diaries, although his name is credited as Robert Carmine (and not Robert Schwartzman). I've spent the better part of my time - okay, I could've used that time to study or something - listening to their songs off MySpace and YouTube, and they are amazing.

The first song I listened to - Blueside - reminded me almost instantly of the British Rock invasion. And The Strokes (♥) May not be your cup of tea, but despite that, have a go and listen to them. Maybe you'll like them.

Chemistry 4

:( :( :( :( :( My first U in the history of my entire two years at MD. Devastation. A crap 35%. Stupid careless mistakes. And as we were going over the paper this morning, there were AT LEAST TEN EASY MARKS. Ugh.

I'm not coming to school on Wednesday, purely because I'd just look like an idiot, having been left behind at school 'cuz I can't walk into the masjid anyway.

Selamat Berpuasa & Ramadhan everyone!

Over the years, the first day of puasa has always been something I look forward to. To spending two hours in the car on the drive to Belait to my grandmother's house. To eating my aunt's/uncle's/grandmother's wonderful cooking. To my aunt's ABC (well, just her ice machine really, that always, without fail, cut off the electricity supply for at least a couple of minutes when enough ice has been crushed). To going to a full Belait House, hanging out in the backroom with my cousins. To sleeping over for the night, and missing the first day back to school because my parents couldn't be bothered with a night trip back to Tutong.

Now, the Belait House is undergoing rennovations (I think it is - I haven't been to Belait or seen a picture of the house in years!), my grandmother is living with us (not that there's anything bad about it - if anything, the last few months has taught me a lot of things that I otherwise would not have learnt, mentally and emotionally) and the possibility of a full gathering seems... not quite likely? I don't know. What I do know is that it'll feel weird without the buzzing of a full house, every mother cooking their best, every father talking about whatever's going on at work or what's on the news, every other cousin talking about one thing or the other, catching up on the lost time.

Ramadhan's a time of peace, a time of patience, of tolerance. I'll accept whatever tomorrow brings.

We had our last big outing for a while. It wasn't exactly big; just a big group, really. Rather peaceful for once. Haha. Sent Fakhri home again. My mom had this look on her face that said, "Don't let this be an everyday occurance." :P

And also;

Congratulations to Abang Alek and Kak Ena who are going to Uni of Bradford and Uni of Liverpool respectively :D Abang Alek's flying off tonight. Good luck to the both of youuu :)

Midnight Sun

Read here

Because some people are morons, they've leaked the completed twelve chapters that have been written so far. MS is Twilight in Edward's point of view, and imo, so so so much better. It's so much more interesting reading the events through Edward's eyes, and this way, he's not such a flat character, and we know and understand why he falls in love with Bella. And, I suppose, in a way, understand him as a person better. (Well, he's fictional, but we'll ignore that tiny fact.)

Now MS has been postponed indefinitely. >:( I would have loved to read the meadow scene through his eyes. As it is, at least SMeyer got the car-ride-back-to-Forks scene in. Quite an odd and out-of-place moment in all the other more squee-worthy parts of Twilight, but it's my favourite. Ahh so much edwardangst.

Tcchhh. I need new books.

tai tv makes my nights.

2008-08-30T20:33:00.003+08:00

AND MOAR VIDEOSSSSS!

Courtesy of the Fueled By Ramen channel on YouTube.

Season 3 of TAI TV (y)

Episode 9 - Fury in Philly Part 1
Three words: It's. Always. Sisky. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Episode 6 - The Butcher's birthday, & other goods
Because Beckett's smile is beautiful. And all their gos at the pinata is hilarious.

I love these boyssssss.

singing!kstew

2008-08-30T20:09:00.002+08:00

This video made me love love love love love Kristen Stewart even more than I already do. Haaaa. (y)

to write love on her arms.

2008-08-30T17:09:00.003+08:00

Listening to: My Favourite Highway - You're Making It Come Alive
"Just because you paint a picture doesn’t mean it fits the frame"

As with most bands/artists, it takes me a while to get used to them. A few weeks ago, upon hearing RPattz's singing, I laughed, declared that he shouldn't quit his day job, and that he sounds like a dying cat. But this is now, and I'm listening to I'll Be Your Lover Too, and I think the small laugh somewhere in the middle totally did it for me. And now suddenly, he doesn't sound like a dying cat, but a musician, an artist.

As usual, I am at home, wasting my time. Actually, I'm just taking a much needed break from Les Murray. The big As are finally coming in just a little over a month, and for once, I'm actually taking it seriously. The AS results were an eye-opener, the false enthusiasm some people throw at me was an eye-opener. Two of my older cousins flying off soon is definitely an eye-opener. I just hope this mind-set keeps for the next month and so.

I'm going over some of my old writings, reading back on drabbles and mindless scribbles. I'm contemplating posting something. Maybe. It's been a while since I've posted anything to the world, and the thought of doing so is rather... scary.

But like my mom says, if you don't encourage it, if you don't go for it, the talent will just go to waste. That said, I gave up on art years ago, even if I had some small semblance of interest in it.

Makes me a bit paranoid now. Maybe she's opened some of my stuff?

Speaking of writing, you should go here. And maybe pay a bit of attention to the story and the website. If not, pay attention to the writing. I'd love to be able to write like that.

♥♥♥

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."

happy birthday anak si joanda! HEHE ;D

2008-08-29T13:45:00.001+08:00

Nineteen years ago (oh you just know I'm playing that up) on 29th August at 1.45pm, this gem of a person was born.

I think I said all that I needed to say in my text message. I hope it got to you at exactly 1.45pm. Hahahaha. :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZATTY JOANDA! ♥

I don't remember when we became close, but we did, and I'm eternally grateful for that. My future gig-ing partner. One of few people who put up with ALL of me and is still here.

BETCH, COOKIES YES? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

premature sunday compilation.

2008-08-27T21:07:00.004+08:00

Mock/Qualification exams are finally over and done with.

Hopefully I'll get decent grades. At least decent enough that people at home, at school won't label me as a lost cause. My Chemistry 4 is definitely an epic fail; maybe 5 will bring the grade up into something slightly decent. Hopefully Lit isn't too bad. Mr Holland's just given me a review on my Copperfield essay - apparently, more-than-C material! And I'll be grateful forever if I get at least a C on the Les Murray stuff. The Biology was fine; should get a C, at least. And Business Studies; I've never written so much for that subject, it's driving me up the wall. Hahaha.

Basically, I'll be thankful if I get all Cs on my exams. Maybe a B.

Citizens For Our Betterment

Aside from the exams, I've been following a series of mazes and clues that Fall Out Boy put out. Not my favourite band by any means - I mean, the only songs I listen to are the ones with Brendon Urie and William Beckett featuring on them - but I love how creative they are.

And as a result of going through all that shit, we're rewarded with an absolutely amazing mixtape. I think so anyway. It features some of FOB's new songs (which, surprisingly enough, sound pretty good), as well as various songs from the Decaydance/Fueled By Ramen family. Remixes of songs from TAI's new album, Cobra Starship's rendition of "I Kissed A Boy", which sounds suspiciously like that "I Kissed A Girl" song some people keep singing. There are songs from Hey Monday and The Cab and of them together, there's Butch Walker, there's The Hush Sound and Panic At The Disco and A Rocket to the Moon and Gym Class Heroes.

Now I have The Cab featuring Cassadee - Take My Hand on repeat. The "new administration" stuff is annoying the shit out of me, but ahhhh the harmonizing ♥

Yes, Izni watched a Malay show on RTM2. Get over it.

Tangisan Bulan Madu just ended. And I only just watched it yesterday! aklhsdjfksal/dfhsjkgfs.kdjfsghdgkljs fudge. Buruk eh.

Breaking Dawn

I rate it a 3.8 out of 5.

Spoilers in the big space of nothingness below!

I liked the overall storyline. I hated the change in point of views. I hated the lack of Bella/Edward chemistry. Wasn't the Twilight story about their relationship in the first place? I also hated the lack of Edward/Nessie chemistry. I mean, come on. And some of the typos annoyed me.

I'm off. Stuff to do in school, and ambuyat tomorrow with the folks from school ♥

tag replies. #2

2008-08-23T20:25:00.003+08:00

Avatar; I don't knoww. Si Izni takut kan go now, especially with the results. Boooooollshit banar. I waaaant to complain! Tapi, oh god, it hurt seeing Mr Holland just now :( :( :( I didn't cry at first; I accepted it. But then, seeing Mr Holland, beri sakit hati. :( :(

A21; Weeeeeeee just texted a reply :P

You know who i am; You bet I do :P HAHAHAHA (8) Don't go changing, rearranging, hold on to a love sensation! (8) HAHAHAHAHA.

Far; :'( But but but... next June! D:

a day early

2008-08-23T20:00:00.002+08:00

“These are the fast times…”

The Academy Is… - Fast Times at Barrington High
Rate: 4.5/5
I want to marry this record. Seriously. And the people responsible for it. The writers, the musicians, the producers.

I love the transition from summery sounding songs into their usual territory. I love the way Beckett’s voice sounds on every song – even if in some, it sounds like the producers messed around with it. I love the lyrics to the verses, and its catchy choruses. I just love it. Maybe I’m biased, but it sure is an incredibly amazing album. (y)

Favourite tracks (not in order): Summer Hair = Forever Young, After the Last Midtown Show, Coppertone, One More Weekend, Rumoured Nights

Least favourite: Beware! Cougar! in terms of lyrics, although the drumbeat is ♥, Paper Chase, although this: “It was the best of times/From broken homes and battlescars/To where we are” is ♥ Hahahahaha.

Because Baby Plucky is awesome.

21st August, Thursday

I had a nice time with the girls and the guys :) In the morning was the girly date (and a break in my fasting) with Dzar, Wardah, Zee and Neesa. In the afternoon was lunch with Fakhri, panicking about the results with him and Munir, and then up to the Study in UK Exhibition at Rizqun.

Chemistry A2

Paper 4 was a complete epic fail. I got the timing wrong, thought the exam ended half an hour after it actually did. So I have a half-complete paper with crap answers. Paper 5, on the other hand, was okay. If I don’t get at least an 18, I’m screaming bloody murder. Or close to it anyway.

It's okay. I have about a month to improve what will inevitably be an incredibly unattractive grade that I never would have ever gotten before.

Results are out…

Obviously.

CHEM B
BIO C
LIT D
BUSINESS E

Chemistry, huuuuuuuuuuge surprise! The breakdown’s a bit… meh, though. CCA. Still, :D Biology, thankful thankful thankful. I’m definitely taking it again. There is no way am I settling for a C. That ugly ugly ugly D for Lit just kills me. I bet it was the P4 Novel/Poetry that brought the whole average down. Ughhh. And looking into Mr Holland’s face this morning just hurt. The disappointment was clear in his eyes. :( And the E in Business Studies... Eeee.

With Biology, since I’ve decided to take it after all, I’ll have a total of thirteen papers to sit for in November. *takes deep breath*

Internet usage is being reduced. I’m not meant to be on right now.

And congrats to Nani for her 2 As and 6 Bs! ♥

here's to you.

2008-08-17T18:05:00.001+08:00

This afternoon reminded me how much I look forward to my aunt's rare visits. ♥

sunday compilation #3

2008-08-17T13:18:00.002+08:00

Listening to: The Cab - Can You Keep A Secret?
"It's true that I'm a silver shadow/And you are always on my mind"

Summer Hair = Forever Young

The epic win that is The Academy Is... Beckett in this video makes me want to hug him so badly. I mean, the face! the hair! the voice! the smile! Sisky's pillow fight! Mike Guy Chislett's half-closed eyes! The Butcher's popcorn fight! Bill pouring an entire bottle of beer over Carden's head and his demented look! Hanna Beth's prettiness! The slow motion! *squishes

Twilight the Movie out three weeks early!

Like Azzah mentioned in the tagboard, Twilight will be out on the 21st November instead of 12th December! :D That is epic win right there, because it means my exams are over two days before that and leaves the time free for vampires. However, there is major epic fail in that as well because...

Half-Blood Prince comes out on 21st July 2009!

EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL! D: D: Screw Warner Brothers. They're just banking in on the cash that summer will inevitably bring for them. Moneywhores. You've already ruined how Malfoy looks (GO BACK TO PoA!Hair DAMMNIT! - now he just looks like a pansy) and omitted a lot of the flashback scenes, now you're pushing the date back? Tcchhh!

And speaking of Twilight...

I caved, and read the entire synopsis for Breaking Dawn. I've read massive massive spoilers, read discussions, read reviews and imo, it doesn't seem THAT bad. Now I just need to get my hands on the book itself to revel in the epic win/fail that is Breaking Dawn. No rushing with this. Hehe (A) Oh, Zah, if you want spoilers, Wikipedia is the way to go :P Hahahahaha.

The Cab's "Whisper War"

Not bad. I've concluded that the lead singer's voice could very well fit in with a boyband's. Hehehe. Not that I'm calling them a boyband. I'm just saying his voice could fit in well with, idk, Backstreet Boys? HAHA. Anyway, their songs are rightfully addictive. (Kesian TAI. They're taking a backseat at the moment because I'm drowning in the addictive quality that is The Cab's music.) Other than that, it's almost odd, but you can dance to The Cab. Okay, maybe not odd. But they have that quality of dance-ability like Pin Me Down has. And speaking of PMD, they need a new single out soon. Like, soon.

Mocks and results!

Ahhh the crushing downer that is the qualifying exams, spanning over a two-week period. I've a total of seven papers to sit for - six, if it weren't for my forced admission into Business Studies. Thank the Lord it finishes on Wednesday. I'm not going to kid myself. I know I'm not ready. Which makes me being online incredibly ridiculous right now.

And the AS results. So as I declared on Wali's chatbox, Brunei Times liesss! The rumours are now that the results are slated to come out on the 21st. If it had come on the 14th like Brunei Times said, then I'd at least be prepared to mourn the devastation and epic fail that is probably my results, and be ready and all kick-ass for the mock exams, to prove everyone wrong. As it is... Sigh.

BBQ for the AVFB lot?

Whennnnnnnnn? Whennnnnnn? Hahahahaha. I miss you guys, like, loads. I miss coming to night rehearsals.

So as Mocks start tomorrow, and I have an exam next Monday, the next 'Sunday' update will come a day early, after the epic fail that will be my Chemistry 5 exam. Screw that.

illegal post: tag replies.

2008-08-15T21:54:00.001+08:00

Doodey; Hahahaha :P

Zatty; Three days later, and I still don't want it to be over. Haha :( Cuz it means the exams are close. Bezatchhh!

Dzar; Hehe yang Summer Hair = Forever Young? HEHE YEP YEP YEPPPPP! MY FUTURE HUSBAND TU! HAHAHAHAHAHA :P

A21; Inda banyak gambar crew. I was concentrating mostly on cast. :P Maybe the next video. But that'll be mostly pictures kali saja. I'm out of videos to abuse. Hehe. OOOOHH Maybe I can do it in slowmo now to a different slowmo song! HEHE.

Wafi; Hehe thankss! I didn't have a lot of pictures to start with, and everyone concentrates on cast more than the crew. y/y? :P I've got about... six videos. And they're all pretty repetitive. I kept recording the same scenes. Too entranced by your performances to really press on the record button :P

Avatar; I MISS IT TOO YAWWWWWW! :'D And neener neener neenerrrr. SHE YOUR BEST FRIEND WHAAAAT! :P

Jiks; But the bulk goes to you guysss! Hehe thanksss! :D

Nab; I had to make them twitchy to with the song, cuz the song's kind of... twitchy? JAHAHA. OH BLESSED FOOD HAHA. I miss rehearsals toooooo!

illegal post: results out?

2008-08-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

Fuck.

Results in the UK are out. How long until ours?

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I feel sick. I feel physically ill.

:(

illegal post: avfb cast tribute vid.

2008-08-14T20:27:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Cab - I'll Run
"Have a little faith in me"

In the words of Bill Beckett...

It's alive! It's alive!

The tribute video for the AVFB cast. Took me a little over an hour to do, but I'm rather proud of it, considering it's only my second finished video. Hehe :D I had limited videos - every time something funny happened, my camera wasn't in hand. I'll upload it on sendspace soon, if any of you want it. :)

It's been a week ago today that production first properly started. What an amazing week :') Ah lord, I miss coming back to school at night. (As odd as that sounds.)

Wednesday afternoon was lovely. Hahaha. In other news, results soon, mock exams soon, end of school soon. Bring it on.

and it's a wrap!

2008-08-12T21:51:00.004+08:00

It's over.

The months of endless rehearsals are finally over. The last four nights of back-to-back rehearsals are over. The last two performance days are over.

And I already miss it.

Even though I was only properly involved last week, it has been a complete and utter blast. I'm glad we're ending the last proper school week on an amazing and high note.

In all honesty, I don't want it to be over. But it had to end some time.

Pictures soon. :)

Congratulations cast! You lot did amazing! :D

uninvited, no one knows.

2008-08-10T12:00:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - Rumoured Nights
"But when the weather changed, like fine print, you were hard to read."

Sunday update numero dos!

I’ve finished reading My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

Rate: 4.4/5
After having the book for over a month, I finally decided to read it shortly after finishing The Host from last Sunday’s update. It’s every bit mind-blowing as my friend, Sammi, said it was. It was an easy read. The ending made me cry bucket-loads, even if it seemed rushed and too… clean. The twists weren’t anything new; they were typical, Picoult’s style, and I wonder why I hadn’t realized it sooner. Regardless of all that, I recommend you read it.

A View from the Bridge, MD’s first ever (?) play production

It will be held on two nights, 11th and 12th of August. The excitement I feel for the play is unreal. I’ve watched both groups’ practices and all doubts are gone. Watching them play out the characters in the play we studied last year gives me tingles.

Today marks the last of the night-time rehearsals. Even though production started a week ago, I have a feeling I’m going to miss coming back to school at night, and being a part of something that’s been a blast doing.

Make sure you don’t miss the play! All their hardwork and the $5 will all be worth it!

Avatar: Sozin’s Comet review

I don’t really feel like reviewing it. The magic will be lost if I watch and analyze it to death. But, for the record, the big block of nothingness below contains massive, massive spoilers. Highlight at own risk.

Best Scene: When Zuko and Iroh reunited at Ba Sing Sei. What made it even more epic was the fact that it was so simple. A simply beautiful tearful reunion of an uncle and nephew who’ve been separated for far too long. Zuko and Iroh’s bond is strong, what with Iroh being more of a father figure to Zuko than Ozai ever was.

Saddest Moment: When Azula starts to slowly lose her mind. When she sees her mother in the mirror. A hallucination, obviously, but that scene was enough to humanize her, if only a bit. It showed us that all she wanted was Ursa's love. I put all the blame on Ozai and Azulon anyway.

Funniest scene: When Toph declares she’s Melon Lord. Hahahahahaha. And when Appa releases Sokka in a pool of drool.

Fiercest battle: The Agni Kai between Zuko and Azula. That in itself speaks volumes.

Best animated sequence: Again, the Agni Kai. Although it is a tie between that and Aang’s fight with Ozai. And the entire sequence with the air fleet.

Scariest moment: When Azula completely lost her mind after Katara defeated her.

Best romantic moment: Because I’m a geek who loves the whole opposites attract dynamic, I’m a bit of a Katara/Zuko shipper. Hahaha. But, in the end, that moment between Zuko and Mai wins. Just completely wins. In fact, anything with Zuko wins. Haaa. Besides, I loved Zuko and Mai from the Boiling Rock episode. Mai wins, despite being a completely dull character. Her line "I love Zuko more than I fear you" won me over. Haha.

Most ironic moment: When Iroh took Ba Sing Sei – but to liberate them of the Fire Nation, instead of conquering it like all those years ago. And I don't know if it's meant to be ironic, but in the end where Zuko, the new Fire Lord, becomes friends with Aang, the Avatar, like how Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku were once best friends. The term "full circle" comes to mind, so I don't know if that's ironic.

Most unanswered question: What happened to Ursa? I think it's simply cruel to just cut it off after Zuko asks his father where she is. And considering the fact that I love love love that part of Zuko, the one that's so incredibly close with his mother, after being rejected by his father.

In other news…

Tomorrow is the last week of full lessons ever. The next two weeks after that will be mocks, and then the weeks following that will be a multitude of only morning classes as it’ll be the fasting month by then. I’m anticipating the last day of school. (Which will during our farewell assembly on the 25th of next month!) I am, however, not anticipating the fact that I won’t get to see certain people ever ever ever again, because let’s face it, I’m lazy and I hardly go to outings with the lot of you. Sigh. Don’t let me isolate myself, alright? I have a feeling I’ll go crazy from the lack of conversation, intelligence and teasing.

Oh...

...and to the most important people in my life, I miss you two. Like, really. I am here. And I will always be here, even if at the moment, I don't seem to be around much. I will make it up to you both. ♥♥

sunday compilation #1

2008-08-03T15:03:00.005+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - You Might Have Noticed

I’ve decided that I’ll do weekly Sunday updates. Mhmm.

I’ve finished reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer

Rate: 4.2/5
Now, I’d love to make a full-fledged review but there are people who haven’t read it yet. I will say, however, that I loved it. The writing in this one is definitely a whole lot better than Twilight. The plot was good, though it started out excruciatingly slow that it took me three days to get pass the first 100 pages. Overall, the book’s great. I loved Wanda’s confusion and conflict. But it were these questions about the book that pulled me in: what defines humanity? What makes us human? Can a world exist with only the good in it? It’s really thought-provoking, imo anyway. And kind of schizo…

I’ve converted Zatty into a full-fledged The Academy Is… and Bloc Party fan!

YAY :D Now I have a gig partner if we get to UK. Looks like it’s time to hit the books! But seriously, for all you people who’ve been living under a rock, go pick up Santi (TAI…) or Weekend In The City (Bloc Party). Although Zatty says Silent Alarm. At any rate, go buy them, listen to them, and then drown in the musical sensation that is The Academy Is… and Bloc Party.

I actually said a lot more, but I hate the thought of exposing my two favourite bands to the general Bruneian community who’d probably just call them crap. And I know a lot who would, but that’s because you have a very limited scope of what music should be.

Oh, and Zatty, the member I forgot last night is Mike Carden.

New All Time Low video!

The video for Poppin’ Champagne is finally online! :D For some reason though, they cut out the ‘Champagne’ from the title and censored it in the opening line. The video, like the last one, is hilarious. Alex the pimp! Alex, again, was undeniably and way too fucking good looking for his own good in this video. The little dance number during the bridge was aslkjdfjdfgl;sdjlksdgjklHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ohboyz. You make my day.

A Dream Too Late “Intermission to the Moon”

Rate: 3.8/5

Nice melodies, nice lyrics. So far. I’ve only listened to three songs over and over and over again and have not moved on to the rest of their album. I will, eventually. New music is love and education to my ears. And plus, the lead singer (at least I assume it’s the lead singer) has a very prominent face structure that reminds me suspiciously of…

EDIT: Mmmm. Oh so deliciously Indie. I like them. 14th & Knott is my favourite track. Be Honest as well, and Do You Believe (In Ghosts)? It's reminiscent of TAI but no one comes close to TAI.

I had lunch with Eleena today!

So basically it’s been roughly two years since I’ve met this gem of a person. Or at least a full-fledged hang out. We had lunch together and it surprised me at the ease that I could still talk to her. :D She’s going off to uni soon, so I’ll be sure to see her before she pisses off to Keele.

Kids, don’t have sex.

Seriously. Chances are you’ll get an STD. And it’s not something to boast about, the sex or the STD. Yesterday’s assembly at school pretty much highlighted the horrors and shame of the majority of Bruneian’s youth. The youth has gone too far West, and it’s an ugly, distressing fact.

Ahhhh. I’ve missed doing posts like these. You know, with the music and book reviews and recommendations. The only thing missing from my list are movies.

Next update: the full review of Avatar: Sozin's Comet. And everything else that comes until next week's update.

hiatus, for real this time!

2008-08-01T21:00:00.002+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - Santi Album; Summer Hair = Forever Young

P/S: Azzah, you rock! :D :D

Fellow Twilighters, notice I'm using Edward's handwriting font? ;)

it's over :(

2008-08-01T15:12:00.004+08:00

I can't believe it's over! I spent the better part of the past three hours watching the final final final episodes of Avatar. Everything about it was just... wow. There are no words. I need to watch it again to make a better evaluation. But seriously, everyone who hasn't watched it, watch it! It won't disappoint!

And now I actually have to go and do my plan of study. Sigh.

This sucks.

AND BREAKING DAWN COMES OUT TOMORROW AND I'M NOT GETTING IT! D:

That sucks big big big time!

Zatty; I couldn't do it, okay! It hurt. Too much. :p You're right, I have seen worse. You've seen worse. And it still makes me shudder. And to think they... I'll tell you online perhaps. Haha. It still riles me up that they're our age and they can't even spell words like civilized, educated people.
Neesa; Growing up is fun in that respect. :p And to think I used to be that way... I shudder. Hahahahaha :p
Juzai; Thanks :)
A21; :'( One more day, one more day... Painnnnnnnnnnn.

AVATAR!

2008-07-31T22:42:00.004+08:00

sfljshgsdfkljfslbdvlfkdcvbnhvm bmnxdfgh bvmuik.likjsgtb bflkdjhrejk SCREW THE PLAN OF STUDY! I'M WATCHING THE FINAL EPISODES OF AVATAR NOWWWWWW! :D :D :D FINALLY!

Today was nice. The last hour of school was nice. :) :)

what are you running from?

2008-07-30T17:10:00.004+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - Seed

Insomnia is a useful little thing, even if it is hazardous to my system. I managed to write up half of my personal statement with the Backstreet Boys' greatest hits album playing. Hahaha.

Sigh. The fact that I couldn't find TAI's Santi album back in March still annoys me. And the fact that us Brunei fans won't be getting Breaking Dawn the same day as the US fans actually causes me physical pain. (Hah. Wooooo dramatic!) Ah, well. I have The Host, My Sister's Keeper, my PS and PoS and qualifying/mock exams to keep me distracted until September. (Reader's Haven better keep their word...)

AND the Half Blood Prince teaser trailer is already online! sjkadhjklfg/aslfh;dsjfg;oeuiwbc,k,k,kjgsfkl :D No signs of Draco. Just fugly Harry Potter, Professor Dumblydore and a young Tom Marvolo Riddle. The basic gist of the entire novel. FULL TRAILER NOW PLEASE?

I'm meant to have lunch with Eleena this Sunday :D And I was planning on going to Pusat Ehsan that same afternoon. Thing is, I don't know how to get there. Haha. I lose. And here I am thinking about volunteering there after the exams are over in November.

Right now, I should've been in ~~Bunut (I lose)~~ Telanai with Dzar and Fakhri jogging. However, unfair unforeseen circumstances have prevented me from doing so. Sigh. I don't like you unfair unforeseen circumstances.

your night-time rants

2008-07-29T23:27:00.005+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - Summer Hair = Forever Young

This band completes me. Haha. It amazes me how much I still get tingles whenever I listen to Beckett singing. And lord, those riffs leading up to the bridges in the Santi album... GIG PLEASE.

I was contemplating blogging in an... unusual way for me. Neesa claims it'll look weird and the lack of structure will be surprising and so 'not me'. Which I agree with 100%. Zatty claims she'll rant in full caps lock abuse mode (I love abusing the caps lock) and I'll just rant right back. Dzar thinks it'll be funny. There was a time, however - a period I dub as the darkest part of my life in relation to the tech world - where I did type that way. It's embarrassing to admit, but compared to some other horrors and to the horrors of the present time, this is pretty tame. I can at least justify that I was 12 then, and I didn't know any better. Thank God for growing up.

I'm sitting here, letting William Beckett's voice wash over me, contemplating how I'm going to start. It will actually cause me physical pain to do. I just can't do it on will. Eh, I probably could, for like, macroz, but that's because they're macroz. Oh, well. Here goes nothing.

2dy i came arrivd at skul at 7. after tht, i went to my claz. my 1st lesson wz buziness studiez. i h8 my teacher. fter tht i had lit. still on da poemz. it wuz boring. i dnt understnd it. fter tht ws break. i dint eat cz i ws puasa-ing. then i went to bio ea

Lord I can't do it. My arms are actually twitching. The above may seem a bit exaggerated, but I'm trying to make a point here. (That I've probably ranted on and on and on in the past couple of weeks. Hey, this is coming from the girl who wanted to do English Language and Communication for a while because it sounded appealing. Then I realized I'd probably end up being a teacher, and I'd probably end up being so frustrated at the shorthand that they somehow slip into their compositions that I'll end up quitting. Or not.)

So here's my question: how do you do it? How are you able to manipulate the words to look so - for lack of a better term - ugly when you've been taught the right way of doing things since primary 1? How are you able to butcher the delicate words so willingly, without thought that some people might not understand or might actually be irritated by them? I'm assuming that the general age for bloggers are - what? - 16-20 year olds (this is just an assumption). Then how, why, aren't you typing and talking (technically speaking) properly like you've been taught? Like your age suggests? Why do you feel the need to make your own "language"? Sure, it may be your own, but it's not something people would actually appreciate. Most people, who actually appreciate the English language and actually absorbed the lessons, will be irritated. Irritated is putting it mildly. It annoys the shit out of me, and most of the time I feel like taking a red marker and circling your spelling, the lack of structure...

Thank God my siblings know how to spell properly.

On a happier note, I've fasted three days in a row, so that's nine days left. I had a good morning today, very productive. Presentation, finally, will be on Thursday. And the A View From the Bridge play will finally commence in about two weeks. They're scary good... So make sure you come and watch them!

I'm going off now.

Any bloghoppers who type like that disgusting display up there, FIX IT. FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT. Do you know how much more vicious people can be? If you think I'm mean, this is nothing compared to what people in the West can come up with. They'll tear you apart, and hence, your survival will be very minimal.

Hah. Cheers.

and kstew makes the world a better place by just smiling.

2008-07-27T18:16:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Canon in D Major

Bullet points for Lit presentation - DONE
Course research - DONE
PS and PoS - practically torturing me. Thnx.

Now I'm going go to away, away to the kitchen, to sungkai in a few more minutes.

Oh, and happy birthday to U'Wan♥

and lies become like a second skin.

2008-07-26T18:41:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Academy Is... - You Might Have Noticed
In moderation, what was once us now never was

Fast Times at Barrington High. Out August 19. Someone buy it and ship it to me, please? I'll owe you my life. And while you're at it, buy me Breaking Dawn as well.

Lit presentation on Monday. I'm screwed. I do not like you. But thanks, Wanna and Mr Holland, for some insight and help. Now I just need to read through it, understand it and interpret it one more time with this new info. Today's Lit lesson, or lack of it, was pretty nice. I shouldn't skip out on Saturdays.

I feel like I'm slowly losing a part of myself. My entire identity, in fact. I don't know who I am, I don't understand what's going on in my head, what I'm feeling, and more often than not, it scares the living daylights out of me. I don't like that I think about this too much. I just want to run and not stop, because stopping means thinking, and thinking means breaking down everything into little pieces. I'm not too keen on seeing what's there, when all the complexities are stripped away. I know I won't like what I see when I discover them. It may be a lot of self-loathing on my part, but I practically have a lifetime's worth of paranoia and low self-esteem, stemmed from lies and people walking out on me when I least expect it.

I'm happy with my life. I am. My grades are up, I have amazing friends, an even more amazing family... But take me away from that equation and you're left with something that will still be intact. It won't fall apart if I'm not there. I'm a pretty disposable part of the equation. Null. I'm nothing special, just ordinary.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. But it's not like I can help it. Short of never wanting to wake up after finally falling asleep the night before, there's nothing I can do but live with it.

I just need to get away from this place. Everything, everyone. I just need to start over.

~~Maybe I will go out tomorrow with the guys from back in PDS. Just to keep my mind out of everything. Plus, I get to see Eleena again after two fucking long years. Or was it three?~~

Baie. It got canceled. Still have a date with her next week though! :D

Dzar, Fakhri, mau jogging next week? I need it. We can tag Munir along with us as well.

your smile could save me.

2008-07-25T14:40:00.002+08:00

Working on my Lit presentation is actually causing me real pain. The headache I have is enormous. I dislike this poem oh-so very much, but the thought of letting Mr Holland down again makes me guilty, especially after yesterday's stellar review from yesterday's vip meeting. One bad comment would have made me feel less guilty about not doing the poem.

My computer is going through the stupid phase of lagging every few minutes. After going through my humongous folder, I've discovered I have 1718 songs (and counting, as I'm waiting for my downloads to finish on my brother's computer) and around the same amount of videos and pictures.

It's either I need to delete them, or I need a better computer.

I'm at that stage again where I don't know what I want, who I am or who I want to be. It's driving me nuts.

disappear here...

2008-07-22T20:17:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Bloc Party's Song For Clay (Disappear Here) Instrumental

"Dent, Dent, Harvey Dent... Move over I wanna drive."

The Joker is meant to be sadistic and psychotic in TDK, but that line, for some reason, was just too cute. I couldn't resist. (A) Sigh. I'm in need of every Heath Ledger (RIP♥) movie I can find that I don't own yet. Even if you're not a fan of either Ledger or Batman, just go watch it! Ledger's performance as The Joker is truly a work of art.

I'm currently working on the poem I'm meant to be presenting tomorrow/Thursday. And I'm not impressed with all the references it's making to a topic I'm not exactly comfortable talking about in front of a group of people who don't exactly see me as the others do everyday.

Not. Impressed. At all.

I've finally gotten the gist of it, with Zatty and Amal Nab's help, my handy little dictionary to help me with some of the words and the Internet. Honestly, I don't know why some people find it so hard to open a dictionary if they don't understand the meaning of a word. It takes only seconds. A couple of seconds of your time is enough to make you look not like a complete moron.

The week is not turning out so well. Sort of. School feels like a prison the longer I'm supposed to be there. Mock exams are just a little under a month. My Vision stuff is practically going down the drain. I have practically nothing, and it doesn't help that I'm undecided. Again. And time is not on my side.

Oh, you cruel world.

The upside is that I've improved in all my subjects, so I'm not all that terrified about the VIP meeting on Thursday. I'm still attracted to him. I feel like I'll always be attracted to him no matter what happens.

Cheers.

oh why so serious?

2008-07-20T18:32:00.006+08:00

Dzar; That bookstore equals so much win. I need to go back there SOON.
Nadee; I know neither. Haha. :S
A21; Arah Reader's Haven is about ten dollars cheaper than Best Eastern. I'm like, "I'M GETTING IT HERE." We have to wait 'til September though. A lot of countries have to wait. I'm patient, for the most part. I just have to avoid the Internet like the plague until I get my book. Haha.
Mush; Shall change :)

Listening to: The Academy Is... - LAX to O'Hare

We watched The Dark Knight yesterday, and it definitely lived up to the hype! The movie exceeded all expectations, but since I haven't watched any other summer comic book movie, I can't really compare it with anything. This role definitely would've been Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning role. You could barely recognize him underneath all the make-up and voice change, and his portrayal of Joker was absolutely phenomenal.

Rating: 9/10
The movie was, however, a little bit on the long side. I kept my eyes closed during some scenes, like I did with Ghost Rider last year, and Ghost Rider has nothing on The Dark Knight. It probably even beats Iron Man, but since I haven't seen it and they're of way different leagues... Hah.

I was out for the majority of the afternoon with some of the people from school for a barbeque at Bukit Shahbandar. My first time there, and it was... calming. Haha. Lamb is good (y) Thanksss for the nice time, guys! :)

I can't be bothered to tag my pictures right now. So, pictures tomorrow maybe? It's not because they're any good; I just don't want a case of identity theft over the Internet. Stalkers and internet pedophiles are scary, yes. But having someone parading around on the Net as you without you knowing is just plain terrifying.

of basketballs and bookstores and trailers.

2008-07-18T18:42:00.004+08:00

Just got in after basketball a few minutes ago, after two days without it. I didn't do much, owing to the fact that I wasn't aware they were outside, and the fact that I was wearing nice pants, slippers and was without my tudong. Haha.

After this afternoon's display, I've concluded I'm not good with team sports. Haha. The whole thing with the hand-eye-feet-mind coordination is too much for me. I can barely do it. My hands and arms usually hang uselessly by my side, my eyes can't quite follow the ball's movement or the other players, my feet are uselessly planted on the ground, and my mind wanders.

As much as I don't get the fascination with football - which once again brings me back to the MD League times where I came for the sake of coming, I think, if my kids wanted to play, I'd let them. Just as long as they don't come whining to me about skinned knees and bloody noses. Hah. I'd make a wonderful mother.

There was a whole bunch of other stuff I wanted to mention, but I forgot. See how my mind wanders?

I think I'm meant to go to my aunt's around 8, and I've got Biology and Chemistry homework that will most likely take me the entire night. Cruel. I should've done it hours ago, but I was having too much fun wasting the afternoon away on MSN.

At least I got to chat with Sammi after soooooooooooooooooooo long! :D

Oh, and the reason for my dying a couple of days ago:

*IS PRACTICALLY DEAD* IS IT DECEMBER 12TH YETTTT? :D :D

I'm so fucking excited for this movie, it's unreal. I hope it blows Harry Potter's royal butt out of the water. Half-Blood Prince isn't looking too good right now. Sigh. They're going to ruin my favourite book out of the series. (Even with Dumbledore dying aksdfsdhfhgh D':) PLEASE PROVE ME WRONG! They don't even have a trailer out yet.

I've also pre-ordered Breaking Dawn from Readers Haven in Jerudong. That bookstore = ♥ WAY a lot more books than Best Eastern (used to be a regular customer, but they don't have as good books after experiencing Waterstone's last March) and Booker (my preferred choice for books up until now). Unfortunately, we only had about twenty minutes there. I usually need at least an hour and a half. That's my new home/source for books now. :D :D I'm thinking of going there again soon, this time with my list of recommendations. (y)

love.

2008-07-17T21:25:00.003+08:00

I insisted on the first picture because the clouds were beautiful. And the other three are purely for the fact that I look like a complete dork and I don't even care. The second picture is really almost Skins-promo-shoot worthy. Haaa.

I meant to make icons out of all the pictures we took that day, but I had very little patience.

Probably one of my favourite days of the entire year so far, embarrassing moments aside and maybe even mild disappointment. The fact of the matter is I haven't laughed like that in ages, and it felt nice to be able to. It's one of those moments where I keep it away in my little ammo pack so that the next time I feel like I'm going out of my mind or I'm spiraling down that bastard of a black hole, I'll have that to remind me that there's at least one aspect of my life that I can count on to be close-to-perfect.

:D :D :D

2008-07-16T17:17:00.001+08:00

efjksdgfhdghjmkfhsakldghF"S;jg dfgjka/sdfjgh/sdafA/;Naagh/L;JDSJKDGNNNNB.KjaKLCHSDCVJKDFBV

BRB DYING

because products of corporate crap should all go to music hell.

2008-07-15T20:27:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Bloc Party - Song For Clay (Disappear Here) Instrumental

Big edit on the last post, if no one noticed. Only removed it because I didn't want it to seem like an attack on a very dear friend after finding out who the poster was. Haha. I fail. Seriously. The Internet is a very dangerous place; clearly.

But, just because I took back the post, it doesn't mean that I don't still think Shayne Ward is pure wank, has zero sex appeal, and should just stop singing because what he sings about aren't even written by him. Having said that, his voice annoys the hell out of me. EPICFAIL. Like I said, to cleanse yourself of the whining that is him, listen to bands like The Beatles, Queen, Bloc Party and Lifehouse. Or really, just listen to anyone who write their own songs and can actually create their own music instead of having these big-shots writing the lyrics and the melodies for them.

kthnxbai.

Rereading David Copperfield is a pain. I got halfway through Chapter 7 before I gave up. I'm going to regret this, of course, when the mocks come in a few weeks and I whine and panic about how I don't have enough time. It's a ridiculous situation we all put ourselves into. But alas, the evil cycle will never end. I just have to keep in mind that all this crazy studying and deprivation of a social life (not that I had much of one to begin with anyway - hahahahaha) will all be worth it in the end.

atu karas genggg.

2008-07-14T19:50:00.004+08:00

Listening to: Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane (Acoustic)

For the past week, our simpang's been playing basketball. Rather interesting to say the least. It's mostly the kids playing with Ajik drilling them like he's their coach, with Nani, Jils and I acting as their trainers. And today, Intan and Ade joined us. Hahaha. It beats lazying away in front of the computer all day and worsening my eyesight, doing nothing but watch endless YouTube videos, roam around the fan forums/communities and chatting on MSN.

Karas muka kami atu, gengg. HAHA.

In other news, everyone knows it's Sultan's birthday tomorrow, so hence, public holiday. (REJOICE! REJOICE!) I cracked the screen of my phone in Bio, but it's still functional. Mak says she'll probably get me a new phone if I get a scholarship next year, which is about a year away. It's fine, my phone's fine. I just need a phone to be able to call and text when I'm bored out of my mind anyway. It's practically the only use I have for it. I don't know how to go online with it, both MSN or the Internet. So, yes Nuar, plant a big, fat L on my forehead then.

Free period is a mixture of the usual people, with more laughing than normal. What we talk about escapes me more than half of the time, but it's the time spent with them and the fact that they make me smile is what matters most.

And Fakhri, I apologize :p Dzar's just a good guesser!

to be paralyzed.

2008-07-13T16:22:00.006+08:00

Listening to: Pechelbel - Canon in D Major

Happy belated 18th birthday, Doodey!

Because Pinky deserves a feature. (He was meant to be a tiny little thing because we were broke, but somehow, this big pink thing made its appearance in Fakhri's registration class, watching over the entire tray of death drinks - Fakhri's version of it anyway - that Munir bought for him.) We were embarrassed as much as you were, dude :p So yes, I - or should I say Dzar and I - await your revenge on us with a rather heavy heart; who knows what you can come up with.

Happy 19th birthday, Yazid! Unfortunately, I don't have a recent photo of him. I don't even know where all the old pictures went. (Knowing me, I must have deleted them earlier this year while I was spring cleaning my computer's memory.) But for those of you who know him, he's still pretty much bald.

Yesterday's Lit class was canceled because there were only about eight of us, plus Mr Holland. (I remain faithful on Saturdays, but Thursdays remain to be the bane of my existence. I hate Thursday school days with a passion.) Anyway, Wana was messing around with Notepad on the computer in the reference room, and we somehow got around to netspeak. Wana claims I should blog about it, so here it is.

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI still remains to be one of the funniest things in my world right now. You can just tell I don't get out much, don't you? "Hahahaha" and "Hehehehe" are still rather acceptable, because it's the most common expression for laughter. "Hihihihi" makes it sound like you're saying "Hi" over and over again with no signs of stopping. Is "Huhuhuhu" meant to be a laugh, or a sob? How about "Hohohoho"? Wake up, kids. Santa Clause isn't real, and he's pretty much a bastard for ruining my childhood. (I know we're not supposed to believe in the spirit of Christmas, but when you're five years old and practically spent your entire short life in Los Angeles, you believe in Santa. And when said bastard denied me my panda, Christmas pretty much ended for me.)

Wana also highlighted one very simple, moronic thing. How on earth does "I'm bored" go to "I'm boring"? Honestly, people really need to - in her words - brush up their English. MSN isn't an excuse to be lazy. But if you're really boring, then fair enough. And another thing that annoys the hell out of me: how does "feel" become "fell". Typos aren't an excuse. You've got eyes, you've got a brain, you've got common sense. "Feel" and "fell" are pretty common words. It's a wonder how people still can't get the difference.

Excuse me. I just need a place to let out my anger.

Over and over again I wish I wasn't so angry. At myself, at the world, at everything. There's just so much my mind and body can take. I need a healthier and safer outlet for it. I want to be able to go through just one day - I'm not even asking for a lifetime - without having to be angry. Yes, it's inevitable, and it's pretty much always there, but I wish it didn't come as often as it did for me.

I want to be able to do really dickhead things, like runaway, without worrying about the consequences. I want to be able to dance my ass off like I don't care what anyone thinks about me, and sing at the top of my lungs without fear of backlash. I want to be able to smile without a care in the world. I want to go through one day without having trivial things in my head, like whether that gesture meant anything. I want to be calm, I want to be happy, I want to feel alive, to be free...

To be anything I want to be without worrying what anyone else has to say.

EPIC WIN!

2008-07-10T22:24:00.001+08:00

DZAR IS MADE OF SO MUCH WIN! :D :D
♥♥

My best friend is awesome for more things than one (y)

out of sight, not out of mind

2008-07-10T16:47:00.006+08:00

Listening to: Canon Rock
=)

It kind of sucks that I had to leave in the middle of the last performance. I'm talking about the Guitar Club's first show of the year. All I have to say is... Not bad, but could be better. And before any of you want to start shit, don't. You're a performer, and your audience are entitled to criticize you. (Syubu, Zatty and I practically ripped them apart, though, but not as harsh as I could have been otherwise. We probably couldn't do better than them, but like I said, "We're critics. We're entitled.") I have to say this though: the people behind us were bloody morons, and the performers... don't quit school.

Mez was nervous. Don't worry, you were great. Oh, and sorry for the shit (lack of) photos :p

Wali, you were awesome. Are you sure you want to quit playing? :p Slightly biased maybe, but don't forget I haven't seen/heard you play in over a year! And before you ask, I left my camera, so no pictures/videos. Sorryyy!

EDIT: Hahahaha. I'm daft. Last I heard you play was in February during the juniors' orientation.

School was semi-fun. Hahahahaha. There was that thing at the humanities block, and then that thing after Chemistry, and then that other thing during block one. I adore these people a little too much. They're pretty much the only reason why I'm still sticking it out on this whole school thing.
I'm still undeniably attracted to him.
Ohhhhh, and thanks to Munir for informing us, but justagroupoffriends still exist! The other one will be deleted soon, probably, when I get around to it. (Samak wah my dashboard.)

radio:ACTIVE

2008-07-08T17:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday's little routine? Didn't work out. Haaaaaaaaahahaha. Tomorrow, then.

Exclusive McFly video from Olympic Studios

I spy with my little eye Danny's honey blonde Tele! :D I'm so excited for their new album it's unreal. Why couldn't we have gone to UK now? We got the Daily Mail everyday we were out, and they're releasing it free with it on the 20th. I'd get the full album that comes out September, of course. If it were possible. ~~Harry, grow out your hair please.~~

Ugh. I've got homework, stuff to read and stuff to do.

See ya.